LA Weekly Column From Behind Our White Picket Fence Week 180

Harpo Comes Calling, Surviving the Flu, and We Return to Our Tantric Roots…

We received an e-mail a few days ago from a company called Harpo Productions. A pleasant voice on the other end asked us a few questions, particularly about our first experience with a sex toy, which led to an hour long discussion of our business, relationship, and intimate life in general. We politely did the best we could, thinking it might lead to a magazine mention or some other nice PR hit, which would then translate into a few extra hits on our website.

As it turned out “Harpo” is “Oprah,” spelled backwards. We were being interviewed by the Oprah Winfrey Show for a possible appearance. Some months back, we sent a message in response to one of their upcoming topics (something about what made an impact for the better on one’s sex life) and the producers were just getting around to scouting for talent to tell their stories. Our teacher/law clerk transition to adult website and retail store owners intrigued them and the interviewer seemed quite excited to find a good fit for us on Oprah’s couch.

To say such an opportunity would be a game-changer would be to state the obvious and we nervously await further word on whether or not we made the grade. We are still struggling to make our monthly expenses – though we’ve cut them dramatically over the last few months – and stating our case in such a forum as Oprah could result in millions of visits to our website and the chance to wipe our a good chunk of our debt in relatively short order. In that spirit, we ask everyone reading this column to send out some positive energy and help move our atoms in the direction of Chicago, where Oprah’s empire awaits our twist on smut and perversion.

A vicious flu hit our household over the weekend, knocking out the female half of our household, who suffered through 104 degree temperatures for three days, severe vomiting and muscle aches for two more, before emerging weakly from our bedroom on day six. We are crossing our fingers that the bug ended with Alicia, as the rest of our household had our own bout with a milder version some weeks back. One of the great positives of living in Los Angeles, however, is the constant sunshine, enabling our sick patient to absorb some healthy Vitamin D and speed her recovery. Though not back to full energy levels, Alicia is nevertheless gaining momentum and we should soon be back to consistent sexual activity soon enough.

Speaking of which, we managed to make love on a couple of occasions since the flu took its leave. With Alicia still not 100%, we were forced to slow things down, our encounter taking on an almost tantric quality. We cuddled close and focused on eye contact, letting our bodies mingle at will, while lining up our breathing in a slow, rhythmic pace. We learned these techniques years ago from Deva Charu Morgan, who conducts classes and seminars in Tantra around the Southland. Her gentle demeanor and focus on trust literally revolutionized our intimacy after only one session with her. You can learn more about Charu at her website, Embody Tantra.

Finally, we are excited to announce the first our weekly Podcasts will post on our website this coming Tuesday. We’ll be focusing on sexual topics, news, and product reviews, along with interviews with our industry’s best and brightest. We’re considering adding a special cast for Little Sexy Black Book visitors, with a more local bent, so visit this section of the Weekly often for further updates.