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Seems simple,
doesn't it? Pop in a porn flick and get busy. And for some of us
it is just that simple. But for those of you who may be
uncomfortable with such things or, worse, have never actually
watched an adult film, here are some guidelines to make to make
things a little easier.
1. Make sure it's
something you BOTH actually want to do.
Society has done
its best to make porn into an evil to be avoided at all costs.
Religion, sexual repression, obscenity laws, and such have all
forced the adult industry to operate pseudo-underground, worsening
the stigma attached to viewing their products. Yeah, the Clinton
years brought them more into the open, but we're in the Bush years
now. And, let's face it, most of the adult films produced are
cheap, explicit trash meant for male masturbation and freaks. That
said, Eddy and I have found watching porn films to be a great way
to get the juices flowing and enhance our own sex lives. We don't
watch them every night, nor do we like all of what we do watch.
But it's certainly nothing of which we're ashamed. For most of
you, though, you may want to check with your partner BEFORE
acquiring a title. And this applies to both genders. If you want
to introduce this element into your sex lives, check with your
partner first. If there's any sort of hesitation, maybe a
discussion or compromise is in order. Perhaps you can start with a
softcore title, like those produced by Playboy, which feature
great looking casts and no explicit sex and work your way up.
2. Choose your
video together.
What works for
men, usually doesn't work for most women. All men need are two
things. One, naked women having sex. Two, more naked women having
sex. Whatever is going on around this basic premise is
unnecessary. Men want hot women, naked, and having sex. Poolside.
On the roof. The hood of a car. Wherever. Story? Nope. Tenderness?
Nope. Production values? What's that?
Women, for the
most part, aren't stimulated so much by the visual aspects as they
are by the whole EXPERIENCE being portrayed in the movie. Is there
some sort of plot? Seduction before the sex? Is the guy trying to
actually please the woman? Is the sex on screen believable? Are
the two actors compatible? Is the guy an ugly pig? Violence, rough
sex, and too much "Fuck me, fuck me harder" isn't normally going
to generate much fire from the femme side. Especially the first
time out. It may be best to save Ron Jeremy for later and stay
well away from the edgier stuff unless your partner specifically
requests it (bondage, anal, S&M, etc.).
The best
way to choose a title is to ask your friends for suggestions. This
can be quite difficult for the shy folks, so combing some of the
adult sites in our
links
sections (especially the
Erotica
and
Adult Advice
categories) can lead you to good titles. Eddy and I have a few
stars we find attractive (Asia Carrera, Tera Patrick, Julia Ann,
Peter North, Randy West), so we look for films in which they star
and hope for the best. There are definitely studios who
consistently produce higher quality titles, such as Vivid, Digital
Playground, Adam and Eve, and Caballero (our favorite is the
Andrew Blake series). Of course, you're welcome to
borrow a title
from us and we have provided a few suggested titles in our
reviews
section that we personally find enjoyable. The point is to make
this decision together and go from there. Set some ground rules as
to WHAT you want to watch and what's appropriate to BOTH of you.
Springing "Horny Anal College Coeds" on your spouse might be the
first and last adult film you ever watch together.
3. Before you
start the video, PREPARE.
Get
yourselves ready for sex. Put the lingerie and edible undies on.
Got kids? Make sure you have your "early warning systems" ready.
You'd rather not have your little ones walking in on Peter North's
cum shot or you two imitating Jenna and her partner in a
pile-driver position, so make sure the kids are well into
dreamland and that there's a door between you and them. If you've
got toys, such as vibrators, lotions, pumps, etc. get them out and
put them within easy reach. No sense in getting hot and bothered
and having to fumble around for your
Tera Patrick Fiber Optic Vibe
or some lube. Open the condom package and keep it close by. If the
film is hot, you'll be reaching for it sooner than you think.
4. Keep the
remote handy.
Watching a porno
is not like watching Citizen Kane. The object isn't to make it to
the end of the video, provoke deep philosophical discussions on
life, nor is it to get you turned on by every scene. Adult films
typically contain between 4 and 8 sex scenes, meant to appeal to
the widest possible audience. This means you'll see "regular" sex,
threesomes, girls with girls, two or more guys with girl, orgies,
anal, oral, and lots of different positions. If a particular scene
isn't doing it for the two of you, hit the advance button! We like
to go through the first couple of minutes of every scene first,
find what we like, and go back. Nothing working? Turn it off and
get busy yourselves.
5. Relax, sit back, and enjoy!
Don’t get into conversations about
the specifics of what you’re watching. These are actors trying
their best to turn YOU on. Yeah, so you’d never try a pile driver
or let fingers into YOUR butt. So what? Enjoy it for what it is –
entertainment. Open a bottle of champagne and pour a small amount
on your belly button, letting it drip toward your intimate area,
then have your partner lick it off and give you the oral session
of your life while you watch the video. Tell him or her to stay
down on you until the scene ends, then switch. Pick your favorite
scenes and watch them again, after you’ve both climaxed. Climax
again! And again… Then get ready to pick your next one! |
