Lots of couples have perfectly lovely sexual encounters without ever introducing a sex toy into the mix. But to me, that's kind of like eating a good dinner without ever moving on to dessert. Sex toys complement sex by extending one's palette beyond its usual range. On top of that, they're terribly seductive-anticipating an orgasm delivered by a remote control vibrator awakens the senses as surely as a piece of chocolate truffle cake.

If you think I'm a sex freak and a food junkie, let me assure you that for fifteen years I've talked to thousands of men and women about sex toys. As the senior editor of a women's sexuality web site called www.Libida.com, I continue to encounter two pretty tenacious myths about couples and sex toys. The first is that sex toys are fine when you're single, but should be quietly shelved once you become partnered. The second is that sex toys are only acceptable for couple's play when they're prescribed as "marital aids," in other words, to fix something that's broken.

But just like kids' toys, sex toys exist for the sole purpose of adding a little fun to your sexual repertoire. Couples who share toys open up whole new vistas of pleasure-they can experiment, tease each other, and explore new heights of sexual satisfaction. If you're tempted by the idea of toys-for-two, here are a few items available on Libida's site:

Vibrators Built for Two
These vibrators are made especially for couples to use together:
The Flipper Flicker looks more like kids' candy than a sex toy, but it packs in plenty of adult pleasure. The super-stretchy cock ring slides over a man's penis, with the attached dolphin positioned on the top so that it vibrates against the woman's clitoris during vaginal intercourse. The tiny microchip powering the toy provides plenty of buzz for both parties.

If you seek more of a high-tech thrill, check out the Remote Butterfly or Remote Panty vibrators. After slipping on the g-string or panty, the woman awaits clitoral vibration, which is activated via a remote control operated by her partner. These toys are especially great for couples seeking a semi-public thrill, for those who like to relinquish (or assume) control, or anyone who relishes the thrill of anticipation.

Toys to Take You Over the Top
Most women need extra clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm during intercourse. These toys are designed to do all the work, so you both can relax and enjoy the ride.

The Fukuoku slips snugly over a fingertip, taking finger stimulation to a whole new level! During partner sex, either partner can wear the Fukuoku to stimulate the clitoris, or couples who love mutual masturbation can each don this finger vibe and swap hand jobs.
For hands-free pleasure during penetration, a woman can strap on the tiny-but-mighty Micro Dolphin. By sliding the rear strap to the side, she'll enjoy plenty of access along with powerful clitoral vibrations.

It's hard to go wrong with the classic electric vibrator, The Hitachi Magic Wand. Thanks to its foot long arm and tennis-ball-sized head, the Hitachi provides maximum reach and powerful vibrations in a variety of positions. A woman can lay on top of it during rear entry or hold it firmly in place in the missionary position. The buzz is so powerful he'll feel the vibrations on his penis when he's inside. Plus it's great for full body massage whenever the mood strikes.

A Walk on the Wild Side
Whether you're experimenting with role-play, exploring new sexual terrain, or feeding your erotic imagination, these toys encourage couples to move beyond the limited definition of sex as penis/vagina intercourse.

Women who've always fantasized about having a penis, or couples interested in anal play can get started easily with a Terra Firma Harness, the Willie dildo and the video Bend Over Boyfriend, which offers detailed instructions on mastering strap on sex.
For the couple intrigued by power play, the Fit to Be Tied Kit, with its blindfold, set of four bonds, and pocket-sized whip, will inspire hours of adventurous play.

When you're short on ideas, or simply need a little permission to try something new, introduce the board game Romantic Rendezvous, which focuses on role-play, sensual touching and explicit communication. When you could use some scripting and props for your role play, pick up the The Erotic Way. Sexy scenarios are provided, along with the necessary accessories-candle, blindfold and feather-to act them out.

Spend the evening giving-and receiving-a relaxing massage. Indulge all of your senses with the aromatic Relationship Enrichment Massage Oil.

Essentials
Be well prepared for any sexual encounter by keeping these items handy:

Lubricant guarantees sex will go smoothly. Astroglide reigns supreme as customers' favorite brand, with the long-lasting Slippery Stuff coming in a close second.

Nothing says you care quite like the gift of sexual health-so keep a stash of condoms around. Kimonos are strong but thin, and the In Spirals get raves from men who say they enhance sensation. Or sweeten up oral sex by donning the Durex Colors and Flavors condoms, which come in fruity flavors.

Enjoy!

© 2001 by Anne Semans. All rights Reserved. About the author: Anne Semans is the senior editor at Libida.com. She's the co-author of The Mother's Guide to Sex, The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex, and The Woman's Guide to Sex on the Web.