Happy Ending Guaranteed!

After being a body worker for the last 12 years, I’ve talked to countless clients who marvel at the ability to perform massage. They have built it up into something much more complicated that it really is. I mean it’s not rocket science right? Yet it seems so intimidating. Too hard, too soft, too fast, too slow. So many things to go wrong! The truth is - nothing can really go wrong. The ultimate secret to giving a good massage is simple. Relax. Yup. That’s it. The best way to give a good massage is to be calm and relaxed yourself. You need to be able to tune into your partners body. How can you do that if you are nervously wondering what they think of your every move? Sharing massage is an extraordinary way to increase your connection and intimacy through intention. It’s an opportunity to focus on your partner exclusively. It also allows them to fully receive. Not that it’s all about the other guy, it’s not. The act of giving massage is rewarding in and of itself as you allow yourself to sink in and attune to another being. Try to get in touch with your own experience of giving the massage – it should be just as pleasurable for the giver as the receiver 

You will want to prepare a little for your massage experience. Start with some nice relaxed mood lighting. If your regular light is too bright get creative with some fabric over the lamp or scented candles. When you make your music selection try something without lyrics as words tend to bring you back into your head. Exactly what you are trying to leave behind! You will want to select an oil that is safe for the skin and not sticky. Most made for massage will be fine, and there are lots of fun and titillating sensation enhancing oils to experiment with. My favorite is the tingling one. Or be bold! Try a different one for every part of the body.

If you don’t have a massage table available, the best way for you to both be comfortable is if your partner is laying face down length wise at the foot of the bed. Or, if they are too tall, they should lie along the edge of the bed with their head at the foot. This way you can stand comfortably and reach the majority of their body without strain.

You are now ready to begin your sensual massage.

But wait! You forgot to undress. This is very important and can really set the mood. Use it wisely. Take your time. Ask any good burlesque performer, undressing is an art in itself.

Expose yourself to your partner slowly. Let them really look at you. Admire you. Make eye contact. Really let yourself feel your connection. It might make you a little nervous, but hopefully that will only add to the excitement with a little adrenaline rush. After you’ve stripped down to your beautifully naked self go back to the beginning of the paragraph – laying face down on the bed or massage table.

So now, as the masseur, you’ve got this wonderful naked body lying before you. What do you do? Relax. Breathe. A nice way to start is to place your hands gently on your partners’ body using the fullness of your palm to make first contact. Take a moment here. Connect.  Breathe deeply. Feel your feet on the ground. If you have warmed the oil first you can slowly drip it down their back. Otherwise you will want to warm it in your hands a little first. Slowly start to apply the oil, noticing the way your partner’s skin feels under your fingers. The warmth and softness of their body. Mmmmmm. This stuff feels goooooood! Think of creating long flowing strokes - a sensual dance you are smoothing your way hand over hand from the nape of the neck all the way down to the small of the back and up over the buttocks slowly making your way back up to the head. Run your fingers through their hair gently massaging the scalp. Now down the back again keeping your palms full on the body. Feel your own undulation as you move, imaging you are flowing like water. Lose yourself in the experience. Visualize that you are connecting one part of their body to another. As you move on from the back to the rest of the body, you might start with the sole of the foot fluidly sweeping up the leg and over the buttocks. Always thinking of flowing movement. Keep breathing deeply and notice if you are starting to feel tingling sensations in your own body as you are so decadently pleasuring you partner.

Ahem. Not to interrupt this little fantasy, but a few words about props from our proud sponsor. Feathers, leathers and lips. A feather can be one of the sensualista’s greatest tools and comes with a goosebump guarantee. The technique is simple. Pretend you are a painter creating great art with the feather as your brush. Perhaps you are now Picasso, one of the greatest artists in the world completely subsumed by the canvas before you.  Feather in hand, in lightly brushing motions slowly paint up the center of the back and down each arm lingering on the hands. Tease the back of the thighs with you imaginary rendering of flowers or clouds. And whatever you do, make sure to sign your name somewhere very special. Leathers are fun and a flogger makes a great body brush. Lightly sweeping over the entire body will awaken all your partners senses. Lips. Well your own are an often overlooked part of a sensual massage. Only good if you are already fairly intimate with your partner though. While you are massaging try finishing parts of the body with kisses and nibbles. A teasing bite on the bum or a strategically placed kiss in that sensitive spot behind the knee never hurt anyone. But maybe that’s just me. Anyway. If you think you’ll like that idea you might want to try a flavored and edible oil for the session.

So, hopefully this has given you some good ideas about where to start, where to end is up to you, but wherever you go be sure to let your imagination lead the way.

TIPS:

About women

Make sure your pressure is not too strong , you want be tender with her not tender-ize her.  

She might also want to know how delectable she looks while receiving her massage – actually ? She’ll want to know you think she looks good while giving too. Really. If she’s like most women, she will pretty much want you to think she’s hot all the time, but particularly when she is so revealed. So, telling your girl how sexy she looks whether giving or receiving will definitely score some points. This is truly  an all occasion tip.

About men

 Guys like to know how they are doing. Tell them. They like direction.

They want to know they are making you happy. Help them out. They really can’t read your mind. Swear.

 Tell your man how strong his body feels and he smells so good it’s turning you on – they want to be desired too!

 If you want a man to relax, whatever you do, don’t tell him about anything that might be amiss. He will be incapable of ignoring his desire to fix it. It’s genetic. Men are hard wired fixers and problem solving is a definite mood killer.

 eLi has been practicing massage and body work in the Los Angeles are since 1997.