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About premature ejaculation.
Premature
ejaculation is one of the most common sexual problems. The
condition is most often described as being an inability to delay
ejaculation to a point when it is mutually desirable for both
partners. The definition of when ejaculation is premature is
subjective. While some men have trouble controlling their orgasm
upon entry, others consider 5-10 minutes of copulation too little
time. How long a man is able to last is not the important factor
in diagnosing premature ejaculation. The crucial issue is if a man
is satisfied with the length of coitus.
Why can't I last longer?
Most men have
experienced this problem at some time in their life. Premature
ejaculation was once thought to be caused by drugs or certain
infections such as urethritis, but popular wisdom suggests it is
more psychological in nature. The exact cause of the condition,
however, still remains a mystery.
Premature
ejaculation often occurs during the first experiences with sex,
and in this case is most commonly attributed to anxiety. The
majority of men gradually learn to control their orgasm, and have
no lasting effect. Some men will develop a longer-term anxiety
toward sex, which can cause a prolonged experience with premature
ejaculation.
Sexual behavior
is also a factor. The longer the period since last ejaculating,
the quicker young men typically reach orgasm. Younger men tend to
ejaculate more quickly than older men, as experience seems to be
associated with ejaculatory control.
What about
desensitizing creams and supplements?
 Desensitizing
creams are products that can lessen the sensations felt by men
during intercourse so that they can last longer (you can find them
in most pharmacies alongside condoms).
Pleasure Balm is a good, mild and safe
desensitizing cream that only requires a small amount be applied.
There are also reports that Viagra can prolong sexual stimulation,
though this varies widely from person to person. Remember, Viagra
is NOT meant to be used for achieving erection in healthy males or
prolonging sex! Using it for these purposes can result in
unintended side effects and can actually be dangerous to your
health.
What are some
good techniques to delay ejaculation?
The best way to
fighting premature ejaculation is learning how to identify and
control the sensations leading up to orgasm. The Masters and
Johnson method does just that. The Masters and Johnson method
requires a great deal of patience and practice, but is very
effective. Follow the steps below.
You may want to
start with masturbation. Begin by bringing yourself to a point
relatively close to climax, and stop, allowing yourself to relax
before starting again. Each time you do this, bring yourself
closer and closer to orgasm until you cannot control it any
longer. You may want to practice with the aid of a lubricant. We
recommend trying
Divine Number
9. Repeating this procedure a number of times on different
occasions will help you learn where your point of climax is. Once
you have an idea about your "point of no return" you should be
able to direct stimulation from your partner leading up to orgasm.
The best way to practice this method is with a caring lover,
although you can try to prepare by yourself. With your partner,
engage in non-coital stimulation (like masturbation or oral sex)
and gradually allow yourself to reach that point just before
ejaculation. At that point, signal your partner to stop (often
this is done with a light squeeze or sound) and allow yourself to
partially lose your erection. Repeat these steps several times to
get the hang of it. You should practice these steps for several
days before you attempt intercourse. Once you are ready to try
intercourse, lay on your back and direct your partner to slowly
allow you to penetrate. As soon as you feel that you are about to
climax, signal to your partner or give a gentle push upward. Relax
for a bit, then begin again. You should soon be able to control
your ejaculation and enjoy having sex.
Although the
method is extremely effective, it could take weeks before you get
it just right. Remember, be patient and try not to put too much
pressure on the situation. If you don’t get it the first time,
shrug it off and remember that you are working towards something
that takes time. If you still have trouble, don’t hesitate to
contact a sex therapist for guidance.
How about
sexual simulation?
Some men can
successfully increase their control with the Masters and Johnson
method, but have a very difficult time maintaining control once a
partner enters the scene. Of course it's normal that you're going
to be more aroused when your lover is present. If this is the
situation you find yourself in, here's what can help:
Add a
'simulation' step between the masturbation and intercourse phases
discussed above. This will help you learn to control a higher
sense of arousal than is possible with simple masturbation, and
you get to do it in private without worrying about what your
partner is thinking. There are a lot of products out there that
simulate real intercourse. We recommend that you get a toy such as
the
CyberSnatch with a nice, high quality
lubricant such as
Divine Number
9. This will help simulate the sensations of real intercourse.
To heighten your arousal, get a virtual sex DVD such as
Virtual Sex with
Tera Patrick. These are interactive sexual videos that will
help you simulate a real sexual encounter. If you don't
have a DVD player, any erotic
video should do the trick. Follow the
same steps as the masturbation stage of the Masters and Johnson
method using one of these videos and the
CyberSnatch. Once you can control your
ejaculation in this simulation, then move on to intercourse with a
partner.
Anything else?
Masturbation is a
technique used by many young men to increase their level of
control. It is thought that masturbation before sexual activity
will lessen the amount of desire a man feels thereby increasing
control. This technique is not very effective, however, as level
of arousal is only part of what contributes to the condition.
Condoms are an
effective means of reducing the amount of stimulation experienced
during sex. Some men find that a condom helps them prevent
premature ejaculation by lowering their arousal. If one condom
does not decrease the stimulation enough, then put on one more.
Condoms provide excellent protection against STDs and pregnancy,
so they’re certainly worth a try. A good
Sexual positions
can affect a man's ability to control his ejaculation. The typical
"missionary" position (on top of your partner) is not the best
position while attempting to control ejaculation. Try laying on
your back, allowing the partner to control copulation. In this
position you are more relaxed, and can guide your partner easily. |
