What Happened When I Got Tired of Making Excuses and Said ‘Yes’ to Sex

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By Pam Costa

A wise man once gave me advice at a wedding that the days would be long, but the years would be short. Indeed, I have found over the last 20 years of my relationship that it’s easy to get overwhelmed by the minutia that is our daily life… the schedule planning and kid shuttling, the working and working out, the cooking and cleaning. And in the midst of that overwhelm, it’s so easy to say “No” to the things that would really nourish our souls, the things that we’ll remember at the end of the year when we realize how quickly it has gone by.

Click here to read the rest of this wonderful article on Huffington Post!

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Excitement Through Routine

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By Ian and Alicia Denchasy
aka Freddy and Eddy

In 2000, we began this website as an ongoing exercise in keeping our relationship fresh and exciting – sexually – by seeking to expand our relationship boundaries (though stopping short of exceeding monogamy) through sex toys, BDSM, watching porn and reading erotica, role playing, love making experimentation, and education. Looking back over the last 15 years or so, it would be an understatement to say we’ve tried just about everything a long-term marriage could bear in terms of intimacy, and it goes without saying that many of our forays resulted in spectacular sensual highs we continue to enjoy sporadically – anal sex, vibrators, spanking, to name a few – while others fell flat and faded over time (porn watching, BDSM, and reading erotica). Indeed, whereas we once gauged our sexual health by high frequency intercourse, we’ve now become satisfied with once or twice per week, enduring long stretches of inactivity without the need to seek marriage counseling or panic because we think it a sign we’ve lost our physical passion. Our own assessment finds our sex life has settled into a pattern of boring predictability; however, rather than recoil at this undeniable cooling of our once mighty libidos, we find plenty of excitement in our lust for both each other and the remainder of our lives together. Continue reading

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Why The New Sex Drive Pill For Women Is Not The ‘Female Viagra’

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Both drugs treat sexual issues, but that’s where the similarities end.

News editor, The Huffington Post

The Food and Drug Administration has approved the first prescription drug aimed at boosting women’s libido, but don’t go calling the new pink pill the “female Viagra.” Continue reading

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Men Masturbated For Science, And Here’s What Came Of It

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New study uses porn to spotlight changes in sperm quality, quantity.

By David Freeman

They say variety is the spice of life, and provocative new research by scientists in Ohio suggests that that holds true in the world of human sex and reproduction.

With the help of 21 men and some porn videos, The College of Wooster researchers showed that guys ejaculate faster and produce more, higher-quality sperm when they masturbate to a “novel female stimulus.”

In other words, they really get off with a hot woman they’ve never previously encountered. Continue reading

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Vice Magazine: I Grew Up In A Polyamorous Household

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By Benedict Smith

Few cultural symbols have as much heft as the “traditional” nuclear family. You know the one: two heterosexual parents, two kids, one dog, two tablespoons of white picket fence, whisk gently. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with that—it’s just not how I was raised.

My parents are polyamorous, a Greek/Latin mishmash word meaning romantic non-monogamy with the consent of everyone involved. As a kid, I lived with my dad, my mom, my mom’s partner, and for a while, my mom’s partner’s partner. Mom might have up to four partners at a time. Dad had partners too. I was raised by an interconnected network of grownups whose relationships weren’t exclusive but remained committed for years, even decades.

Click here to continue to the full article on Vice.

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Stuck Until Death Do You Part?

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By Ian Denchasy

In one of our many discussions recently, a dear friend explained that she had an epiphany and that, “No matter what, love is the answer,” period, to staying married to her husband of almost 20 years. And while I agree wholeheartedly that love should be a vital component of a successful marriage, it was what she said next that startled me, and I quote, “I mean, no matter what happens from here on we’re committed to seeing our marriage through and have accepted that were stuck together for life.”

Even her 16 year old daughter, who was sitting nearby, paused to look up from her smartphone at that zinger, shooting a glance over my direction to see if my reaction would match her obvious befuddlement. Continue reading

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Product Review: 3 Way Tonguejoy Vibrator – A Classic Updated

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What is a Tonguejoy: The Tonguejoy vibrator was originally released in the early 2000’s, quickly becoming one of the most popular sex toys and redefining the vibrator category. It was worn on the tongue and used for oral sex on both male and female.

Our Review: One of our favorite products – both for effectiveness and innovation – is the original TongueJoy micro vibrator. Unfortunately, our original finally died after years of faithful service; but along comes a new and improved version to take its place, promising improvements galore, including more power, easier use, a redesigned and smaller vibrating unit, an even a more versatile set of accessories to expand its range, and a lower price, to boot. Could this be the Tonguejoy we’ve been waiting for all these years since parting with our original? Continue reading

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A Different Perspective On Tantra

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By Layla Martins

There are a lot of Tantra and sexuality teachers out there teaching strict rules about sex…

– Woman: Don’t you dare have a clitoral orgasm! It’s so immature, and you’ll become grumpy and disconnected

– Man: Don’t ejaculate or you’ll end up energetically depleted

– Both of you: Don’t even bother to orgasm at all, you’ll have a dopamine crash and end up personally destroyed

I think rules like these are like “fad-diets” – they sound sexy and like they’ll work. And you might even get some quick results, until you crash and it probably isn’t even all that healthy to begin with.

A lot of these teachers become notorious and get a lot of attention, just like “fad-diet” gurus.

People love rules – they give a certain comfort – they make you feel like you’re really getting somewhere.

Just as we’ve battled with our addictions and use of food, we’ve been battling our addictions and use of sex.

The answer isn’t crazy control, it’s balance, and the simple choices day in and day out.

When it comes to sex, it’s just like diet. Eat real food. Not too much. Mostly Plants.

When it comes to sex….Make real Love. Relax and Be Present. Breathe deeply and follow your Impulses.

I think a lot of “spiritual teachings” actually end up setting us on a path for war with ourselves.

Kill your ego. Stop desiring so much. Let go. Surrender. Either be celibate, or at least stop ejaculating or orgasming so much.

For God’s Sake: WHY?

Do you really think the creator set you up so that all of your natural impulses are the path to destruction?

Where does going to war with your humanity make you more real, more present, more alive?

Because if it isn’t real and present and alive, then it isn’t spiritual.

Same goes for sex.

If you find yourself controlling, battling and restricting your sexuality, it’s just sending you down another rabbit hole.

I believe the only true redemption comes first and foremost from being fully in love with and fully at peace with our humanity – and a huge part of humanity is sexuality.

Anything that isn’t arising from that kind of deeply self-loving foundation is a masked escape.

Escape from where?

The present, of course.

To read more from Layla Martins, you can join her Facebook page here.

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Hot Sex With Menopausal Women: One Man Shares His Experience

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Visit the original post at A Sexy Woman of A Certain Age here!

After reading a recent HuffPost article about post-menopausal sex that struck me as somewhat depressing, I started to wonder how sex as I knew it would evolve once I crossed over to “the other side.” Was the reality for most women really as grim as what the media tells us is true? Or can sex after menopause morph into a richer and more nuanced experience? And if it does, why aren’t we reading those stories? L

iam is a 65-year-old man who wrote to share his experiences with steady sex partners from ages 50 – 68. If his sampling is an accurate gauge of the range of post-menopausal sexual response, then many of us perimenopausal ladies can look forward to enjoying robust sex lives, possibly in more creative ways than we’d ever imagined — especially for those of us fortunate enough to have a lover as sensitive as Liam.

I had a lover who began menopause at 51 with no other symptoms than the hot flashes/end of menses.

Her very strong libido was unaffected. We did not center intercourse in our practices, so I can’t recall if there was any effect on that. She was accustomed to having endless and sometimes ejaculatory orgasms from non-genital stimulation of various sorts, so we mostly didn’t notice menopause’s effects. Continue reading

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