Six. This is the number of times we had sex in all of 2014.
You read that correctly – six.
We could run down a litany of (warranted) excuses. We were not only still recovering from a 2012 severe financial crisis, but we had made the decision to move our mother into our home for her final exodus into death. Her Parkinson’s disease and dementia had finally taken their toll and she declined continually throughout the year until her final breath on November 7th. The remainder of the year brought visitors, paperwork, the holidays, and every distraction imaginable – not to mention the onset of menopause and the simple process of aging. Our 50’s are upon us and our collective libido is getting harder and harder to coerce into intimacy.
“You are responsible for your own orgasm,” my boyfriend told me. He was the guy I lost my virginity to, the guy I had my first orgasm with, and the guy whose words would one day become my mantra: I am responsible for my own orgasm. I believe that literally and figuratively. In bed, I play an active role in getting what I want. But I also take charge of getting what I want throughout my sexual life.
I happen to live in Los Angeles, where being over a size 8 is almost a felony. As a plus-size woman, this can be depressing when I am searching for a cute bathing suit or a stylish pair of jeans in a city that considers the “norm” a size 2. At those times, I like to remind myself that the average dress size for women across America and the UK is a size 14, and that a size 2 is much less common than the norm. However, it’s disappointing to note that at size 14, those “average women” are also considered “plus-size,” a term that relegates them to a category that, in this media-driven age, sends women to the back of the proverbial bus. Continue reading →
Having been in my present relationship since 1988, I’ve had many years to not only enjoy (and, at times, suffer through) my marriage to Alicia, but reflect on what has made it successful over this long period. Neither of us believes in the “soul mate” connection, whereby we’re destined to be together forever, nor are we particularly suited over others for long term monogamy. Indeed, surveying the many couples we’ve come to know over the past quarter century, it’s surprising to see some break apart who seemed so much more compatible than ourselves. Yet, somehow, we find a way to love each other at our worst and remain together for the best. As far as relationships go, each day together propels us to the next.
So how do I gauge my own success in my relationship with Alicia, or indeed any of the failed partnerships that came before her? Personally, it all comes down to three simple questions: Continue reading →
All relationships have a system. Some systems work well and some are dysfunctional.
Mention the word sex and eyes widen and ears perk up. The strong reaction the subject arouses reflects the spicy nature of sexual energy. We may be at the gym feeling tired and depleted, but if someone we find attractive starts working out next to us, our energy level is suddenly boosted. That energetic intensification represents the activation of our Lower Dantian (energy center below the navel), which holds our sexual energy in reserve. Continue reading →
Apparently, this “sculpture” is called Tree. Um, we have to agree that it’s not.
In Place Vendome, one of Paris’s beautiful historic squares, next to a 19th-century column commemorating Napoleon’s glory in the Battle of Austerlitz, sits a 24-foot inflatable butt plug. Despite the city’s reputation as haven for cosmopolitan artsy types, some Parisians aren’t having it.