Monthly Archives: May 2013

Sex Positions 101: The Tidal Wave – Variation Two

Type of sex positions: Rear entry (doggy style).

Sex positions degree of difficulty: Intermediate.

Same as in variation 1, but this time the male places his knees INSIDE the knees of the female. This position is less tight and allows slightly deeper penetration than variation 1.

tidalwave2

 

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Bondage Benefits: BDSM Practitioners Healthier Than ‘Vanilla’ People

A pair of handcuffs on black background

A pair of handcuffs.
CREDIT: NorebboShutterstock

Via LiveScience.com…

Despite the fact that their sexual preferences are listed in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as potentially problematic, people who play with whips and chains in the bedroom may actually be more psychologically healthy than those who don’t.

A new study finds that practitioners of bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism, or BDSM, score better on a variety of personality and psychological measures than “vanilla” people who don’t engage in unusual sex acts. BDSM is a sexual practice that revolves around those four fetishes.

BDSM is listed in the DSM-5, the newest edition of the definitive psychiatrist’s manual, as a paraphilia, or unusual sexual fixation — a label that has caused controversy between kinky communities and psychiatrists, who themselves are mixed on whether sexual predilections belong in the catalog of mental disorders. As written, the DSM-5 does not label BDSM a disorder unless it causes harm to the practitioner or to others.

Kinky controversy

Nevertheless, some psychiatrists see the inclusion of BDSM and other kinks in the manual as stigmatizing, particularly because studies have failed to show evidence that enjoying sex with a side of pain is linked to psychological problems. The new study, published May 16 in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, finds that, in fact, BDSM practitioners may be better off psychologically than the general public.

BDSM practitioners “either did not differ from the general population and if they differed, they always differed in the more favorable direction,” said study researcher Andreas Wismeijer, a psychologist at Nyenrode Business University in the Netherlands who conducted the research while at Tilburg University.

Wismeijer did not set out to study the psychological health of BDSM aficionados. His research typically focuses on the psychology of secrets and secrecy. A chance meeting with the founder of the Netherlands’ largest BDSM Web forum convinced him the group might make an interesting study population to look at how secrets are kept and who keeps them.

Wismeijer and his colleagues put out a request on the forum for people in the BDSM “scene” to take a variety of psychological questionnaires online. They also sought participants who didn’t do BDSM via a women’s magazine website, a personal secret website and a university website.

Healthy fixation?

None of the participants knew what the surveys were about, other than they were on “human behavior.” All told, 902 BDSM practitioners and 434 vanilla (non-BDSM) participants filled out questionnaires on personality, sensitivity to rejection, style of attachment in relationships and well-being.

The researchers chose these baseline measures because previous research on those in the BDSM community has focused on dire outcomes — whether they’re more likely to have mental disorders or report rape and abuse compared with the general public. (They aren’t, studies have found.)

The new results reveal that on a basic level, BDSM practitioners don’t appear to be more troubled than the general population. They were more extroverted, more open to new experiences and more conscientious than vanilla participants; they were also less neurotic, a personality trait marked by anxiety. BDSM aficionados also scored lower than the general public on rejection sensitivity, a measure of how paranoid people are about others disliking them.

People in the BDSM scene reported higher levels of well-being in the past two weeks than people outside it, and they reported more secure feelings of attachment in their relationships, the researchers found.

Of the BDSM practitioners, 33 percent of the men reported being submissive, 48 percent dominant and 18 percent “switch,” or willing to switch between submissive and dominant roles in bed. About 75 percent of the female BDSM respondents were submissive, 8 percent dominant and 16 percent switch. [10 Surprising Sex Statistics]

These roles showed some links to psychological health, such that dominants tended to score highest in all quarters, submissives lowest and switches in the middle. However, submissives never scored lower than vanilla participants on mental health, and frequently scored higher, Wismeijer told LiveScience.

“Within the BDSM community, [submissives] were always perceived as the most vulnerable, but still, there was not one finding in which the submissives scored less favorable than the controls,” he said.

Sexual health

The study is somewhat limited by a self-selecting response pool and by the fact that BDSM practitioners could have been answering in ways to make themselves look better and avoid stigma, Wismeijer said — though the fact that the participants didn’t know the reasons for the study ameliorates that concern somewhat. The findings are reason for mental health professionals to take an accepting approach to BDSM practitioners, Wismeijer said.

“We did not have any findings suggesting that people who practice BDSM have a damaged psychological profile or have some sort of psychopathology or personality disorder,” he said.

Wismeijer isn’t exactly sure why BDSM practitioners might be psychologically healthier than the general public. They tend to be more aware of their sexual needs and desires than vanilla people, he said, which could translate to less frustration in bed and in relationships. Coming to terms with their unusual sexual predilections and choosing to live the BDSM lifestyle may also take hard psychological work that translates to positive mental health, he said.

One study alone shouldn’t determine whether a condition is placed in the DSM or not, Wismeijer said, but added that combined with other research, the new findings suggest BDSM is better seen as a lifestyle choice, if a slightly strange one.

“I’m not so convinced that BDSM should be placed within the DSM-5,” he said.

Follow Stephanie Pappas on Twitter and Google+. Follow us @livescienceFacebook Google+. Original article on LiveScience.com.

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LA Times: Who Lies More About Sex, Men Or Women?

Who lies more about sex, men or women?

A computerized polygraph machineA computerized polygraph machine (Dima Korotayev, Getty Images)
By Monte MorinLos Angeles TimesMay 29, 2013, 5:00 a.m.

Ever have that awkward talk with a romantic partner about your sexual history — about how old you were when you lost your virginity and how many people you’ve had sex with? Did you tell the truth?

Well, according to an Ohio State University study on gender expectations, chances are good that you lied. In fact, both of you did.

In a paper published Tuesday in the journal Sex Roles, Professor of Psychology Terri Fisher surveyed a group of 293 heterosexual male and female college students on their sexual history, as well as on other nonsexual activities relating to gender roles.

What she found was that both men and women appeared to lie about their sexual history, but in different ways.

When students were asked to fill out an anonymous paper survey, male students reported having sex at an earlier age and with more people than the female students.

However, when students were hooked up to a fake polygraph machine, the female students, on average,  were more likely to report that they had more partners than the male students.

“It was the exact opposite,” Fisher said of the fake lie detector answers. “Women are reporting significantly more partners than the men.”

When not attached to the fake lie detector, the male students tended to add one more partner to their sexual history, while the women tended to subtract one.

Fisher, who specializes in the study of sexuality and gender roles, said that the men and women were less likely to alter their answers regarding other gender-related behaviors, such as cooking, petting a kitten, changing a car tire, dressing like the other sex or driving at 90 mph.

In other words, men and women appeared to be less hesitant to admit to activities that might be associated with the opposite sex, as long as they didn’t involve sexual behavior. When it came to intercourse, men and women appeared to be intent on answering along stereotypical expectations, Fisher said.

Fisher said the findings should raise flags with researchers who use surveys to study sexuality. “It is possible that people are more motivated to hide sexual behavior that is not in keeping with gender norms than other types of behavior,” Fisher wrote.

The average age of the study participants was 18, and the overwhelming majority of them were white.

The study mirrored results of an experiment Fisher conducted in 2003. However, in that study women who were connected to a fake lie detector — “bogus pipeline,” as psychologists call it — admitted to having, on average, the same number of sexual partners as the men.

It was unclear why, 10 years later, women were now reporting that they had a greater number of partners than men.

“With research like this, it’s always difficult to separate out whether the change is in actual behavior or whether the change is in willingness to admit the behavior,” Fisher said.

Follow me on Twitter @montemorin

Copyright © 2013, Los Angeles Times

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Sex Positions 101: Ironing the Cracks

Sex position type: Rear entry (doggy style).

Sex position degree of difficulty: Intermediate.

 

Use a chair or table of some kind to mimic this common position from adult films. The male should kneel behind the female between her knees. Keep her knees together for a tighter thrust!

ironingthecracks

 

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True Sex Stories: A Love Letter to A Pensive Soulmate (via Fleshbot.com)

A Love Letter To A Pensive Soulmate

x-art_james_deen_scarlet_the_young_and_the_restless-15-smlWhispering fingertips across my skin, leaving trails of regret for what will be missed. Sparks ignite with each wandering up my arm to my shoulder, an imploring whimper to not kiss me on the spot between my shoulder and spine. The spot that makes me want to give in, the spot that make me want to taste your kisses.

The weight of your body atop of mine, cloth that covers, confines and traps. Purposeful refrain. Your cock pulsing into me, felt but not tasted. Longings not fulfilled, fault lines not traced. I let the time slip. Another year.

Will I regret what never happened?

In my bed empty, warm surrounded by cold, the ocean blows through cracks, the wind forces the aloneness to consume. My mind maps out all the routes that lead back to your bed, were aloneness becomes coiled, wet breathed, hot burst of angst energy that overtakes the others loneliness. Your lack of sensual truth and my bull shit expectations burst forth from our tongues in debate, meaningless words pour from my tongue dripping in a trickle from my chin to your eager open mouth. Fluid exchange.

My head tilted to the side, cradled in too much pillow- a gaze into you, so close your smell is intoxicating and sober in one. Walking the steps of my body, your fingers learning (or relearning), the curves, the folds,the creases- the touch that will make me sigh and twist around to expose the softness of my underbelly where my jeans lay open unbuttoned and undone. A tortuous invitation.

The temptation of a slut lulled into the rocking stiffening motion only a cock like yours can give. Standing at the side of the bed, looking down on me, your hand stoking the branch beneath your jeans urging me, coaxing drops from the tip that absorb into the fabric. Undoing your pants, unable to keep the refrain, I see you, heavy not completely hard, but completely heavy, dark and needy.

Turning my head back into the pillow, I don’t watch, because I know, it’s too late.

I feel your soft skin drag across the length of my arm, like your fingertips, the sensation sends a vibration through my entirety. I want more. Turning my head from the mass of pillows to face you, to watch you complete the trail to my lips. Looking at each other, it’s easy to see the defeat, the lust, the pieces missing from your marriage, my weakness that stems from my cunt to my mouth, the glinting drip forming on the tip of your cock, and the love.

Without compunction my mouth parts, my tongue wants that drop, I need to have that memory of your taste. Fluid exchange.
Your cock responds to my tongues lick, from thick to hard you don’t wait and you don’t ask. Your hand tangles into my hair, the grasp tilts my neck, my mouth opening wider as you slide past my lips. The tip at first, but your patience has slipped, and you begin a proper cock feeding. Sliding into and out of me, feeling the ridges, veins, and sinew that make you throb, and that make my cunt pulsate for more.

It’s over, my resistance is over.

Want more dirty stories? Check out the selection at Fleshbot Fiction. This story republished with permission fromLibrary Vixen. Want to see your true tale of lust on Fleshbot? Contact us. See more beautiful porn at X-Art.

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Product Review: Tantus Curve Silicone Dildo

Synopsis: The Curve was the first of a  line of Tantus® products to feature a wider base, enabling people to combine the versatility of harness play with the direct G-Spot stimulation all women crave. Better still, the subtle angle of the Curve makes it ideal for anal or vaginal play, and the smooth silicone makes penetration a joy for men or women.

Eddy’s Review: Tantus has introduced their newest dildo called the Curve into their line of products.   Of course Tantus continues with creating new pieces made out of 100% Ultra-Premium Platinum Silicone.  The Curve resembles a combination of two of their current products; acute and charmer.  The Curve takes from the previous two products and has evolved into a fantastic new piece.

The Curve is a 6”  dildo, with another 1” for the flare base while the diameter is 1 3/8”.  The tip has a 1” phallic design where then a ripple cascade begins below the tip and runs along the top of the shaft.  The underside is smooth, yet has some indentation length-wise.  If you stand it on its’ base, the dildo does not stand straight, but has an angle.  This is where the end user will find it quite compatible to use whether they play solo or not.

When I first took it out to play, I noticed the ease it felt in my hand.  The flare base is shaped more like a teardrop with it rounded at the base and pointed up at the top for ease of grip.  Once I added some lube, the Curve was perfectly angled for a G-spot massage, while the ripples felt great for clit stimulation.  The girth was a nice average size with density.

Since I am more of a clit girl I found that the ripples on the top part of the shaft added a great appeal for me.  I loved that the ripples felt great for the g-spot area, but that I could also use it to rub outside on the clit for more intensity.  The new design of the flare base let me play with it on my own, but I love that it also lets my partner use it on me with any easy grip.  Of course the design is for adding into Strap-on play, which is very inviting indeed!

Freddy Say: With the literally hundreds of products we’ve tried, it’s quite amazing how few dildos mimic a REAL penis’s upturned nature. Leave it to Tantus to once again see opportunity and seize it with a vengeance. Lest one thinks we’re shills for company founder Metis Black and her merry band of San Diego alchemists, let me just say WE ARE. Heck, how many entrepreneurs – period – buck the temptation to turn over their entire production to China and forgo opportunity here? For that alone, I personally salute her and will continue to highlight worthy wares that spring from their inventories.

To purchase, click here to visit our online store or here to visit the Tantus Silicone website.

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Sexually Out of Sync: Concerns with Levels of Desire

SEXUALLY OUT OF SYNC:
Concerns with Levels of Desire

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D.

Sexologist & Adult Sexuality Educator (http://www.oralcaress.com)

Most sex therapists would agree that of all the problems presented in their offices, the largest category of concerns are those centering around levels of sexual desire. They would also agree that these cases are the most difficult to understand and the hardest to treat. But, let’s begin at the beginning and try to understand what sexual desire is and where it comes from.

Sexual Desire Defined

Sexual desire is the internal motivator that signals the biological hunger for arousal and orgasm. In the past it has been called “libido,” and today its stirring is commonly known as “getting horny.” It is a biological hunger, not too unlike our hunger for food, although no one has ever died from lack of sex. The sexual hunger begins as a subtle yearning and might stay at that level, or it might escalate in intensity and become quite demanding. Given the opportunity for arousal and the eventual orgasmic satisfaction, the level of biological desire decreases. This biological need will, however, resurface in a period of time, this cycle being different for each one of us depending on our biology and our environment. By “our environment” I mean, of course, the amount of sexual stimulation around us, in the form of a desirable and interested partner, exciting visual stimulation, and sensual sounds and aromas.

I’ll back up again to point out that there might be confusion in our definition of “sexual desire,” for it is often used to identify sexual thoughts, as well as physical urges. I prefer to refer to the former, the sexual thoughts, as “sexual ideation,” and reserving the term “sexual desire” for that biological ache that captures a person’s attention and directs his or her behavior toward a sexual goal. Thus, someone might honestly say they think about sex, but they have no desire to do it. They might say that their sexual ideation includes memories of wonderful sexual encounters, but there is no physical need to repeat them.

There are those who have positive thoughts about sexuality and a biological sexual need that periodically arises. The satisfaction of a sexual appetite does not automatically require that it be done within the context of a relationship. Some people might abstain from a sexual exchange for reasons relating to their morality or personal values, or just because a suitable partner is not available. Therefore, there are obviously those who respond to their sexual drive with masturbation. Self-pleasuring is an option for one who is waiting or one who is without a partner, and self love should always be practiced without guilt. It is interesting, on the other hand, there are also those with strong physical needs, but with negative sexual ideation and this prevents them from seeking fulfillment of their sexual appetites, alone or with a partner. Celibacy is a matter of choice, but a lot easier for one who has little or no desire.

Three Types of Sexual Arousal

Let me back up again, for this topic of sexual desire is complex and I need to make another point about arousal. (Remember, the physical sexual response cycle begins with desire, which leads to arousal, and, with effective stimulation, culminates in orgasm.) There are essentially three types of arousal. First, there is that spontaneous arousal that is closely intertwined with desire and springs up without provocation. The horniness suddenly emerges, closely followed by the physical manifestations of arousal (men get firm, women get wet). This spontaneous arousal is most likely the result of a biological cycle driven by the person’s hormonal system, and the most obvious example are the spontaneous erections of the adolescent boy which occur with no external or mental stimulation. The desire and arousal just appear.

With age, other physical changes, and a lot of unknown factors, the incidence of spontaneous arousal diminish. However, there is another avenue to arousal that we can call “psychogenic.” The genesis or beginning of the arousal is in the person’s psyche or mind, although the biological/hormonal component is still operative. Psychogenic arousal occurs when a person, with positive sexual attitudes and a subtle but growing biological need, begins a sexual fantasy; or sees, hears or smells a desired partner; or sees or reads something erotic or explicit. Psychogenic arousal can be stimulated by a nonsexual touch, a gentle kiss, or some other sensual touch other than on the erogenous areas. We could guess at a percentage and say that the origin of psychogenic arousal is 65% within the mind and 35% within the body. It should be obvious, however, that the percentages can change, but arousal might still occur if the numbers add up to 100.

All is not lost if the percentage of the spontaneous biological contribution is low. This is when we must rely on nature’s backup plan. This we can call “neurogenic arousal” or “reflexogenic arousal,” for the pathway to arousal is via a neurological reflex. Remember this avenue, for it is important and I will get back to it.

Sexual Issues Centering Around Desire

Now, let’s look specifically at the types of concerns that center around issues of desire. However, I first want to remind the reader that there is no national standard that everyone must meet. If both partners enjoy there mutual sexuality once a month and are both happy about that, there is no problem. If another couple mutually enjoys their sexuality twice a day, seven times a week, and still makes it to work on time, there is no problem. Too often there is a tendency to label someone as “undersexed” or “oversexed” based on some statistic or, more likely, the level of desire of the persons doing the labeling. This is subjective at best, disrespectful at worst.

Each couple must decide what is right for them and, if in agreement, no one should judge their performance. However, a problem might arise if one partner feels the need for sex once a month and the other partner desires it more frequently. This has been called a “desire discrepancy,” and can become a major issue in a relationship. I should hasten to add that the old sexist jokes always have the woman saying, “Not tonight,” and then claiming the proverbial headache. In reality, a good estimate is that the ratio between women and men is about six to four. That is, out of 10 people with a level of desire lower than their partner’s, six will be women. Four of these 10 people will be men.

Issues of desire are further complicated by the fact that newness or novelty are very powerful aphrodisiacs. There might be a lot of spontaneous and psychogenic arousal early in a relationship, but as time goes on, the level of desire diminishes. Although not exclusively, it is often the man who continues to feel the biological desire when time cools what had begun as a passionate relationship. It is recognized that testosterone plays a major role in triggering sexual appetite… women produce it also, but not in the same quantity as men. So we have issues of familiarity and issues of hormone production, and these are not easily sorted out.

Two Categories of Low Desire

I need to get academic again… forgive me. Low desire might be life-long (chronic) with the person saying, “I never really had a need for sex,” or it might be a more recent change and the person reports once having a strong desire but somehow losing interest. With the former, blood chemistry might be involved. With the latter, biological changes (e.g., a pregnancy, menopause, or medication side-effects) might be the culprit, or the introduction of mistrust, disrespect or anger into the relationship could undermine the desire.

Typically, if the lose of desire is related to some physical change, it is “global.” That is, the person never feels desire. However, if a decrease or loss of desire has something to do with a change in the relationship or something to do with the partner, it is called “partner-specific.” In this case the person feels desire, but is not attracted to their partner. Such a person might report that they are avoiding sex with their partner, but are masturbating on a regular basis.

The Partner’s Reaction

Even in a relationship that is otherwise good, partners with a higher sexual interests and drive often have difficulty understanding why their mate is indifferent. All too often they think it is intentional (e.g., withholding sex to punish) or a sign of the loss of love (“If you loved me, you’d want me”). Feelings might be hurt, self-esteem might suffer, and rejection might be perceived when this is not what it is. The one with the higher desire might feel abandoned and undesirable, but the partner with the lower level of sexual drive might be equally bewildered. Not having the appetite, this partner might wonder why their hornier mate has placed so much importance on something that holds so little interest for them. They might feel pressured, could feel guilty, and may even wish they could feel more desire but do not know how to make it happen.

Unfortunately, a chain of events might begin. One partner shows little interest, but tries. The other partner senses disinterest and begins to question. The one with the lower desire could then feel self-conscious and back off. The hornier partner might then lay on a guilt trip. The one with the lower appetite might begin to resent this and shut down even more. The hornier partner might then begin to pressure and the one with less drive becomes angry. This couple is now in serious trouble!

The Place to Start

Let’s begin with two first steps that many many people resist. If the absence or lose of sexual desire is global, the person with the lower sexual appetite should consult a physician and request a complete evaluation of his or her hormone levels. If the absence or lose of libido is partner-specific, it is time to take a good look at the quality of the relationship, both emotional and sexual. Look for anger, resentment, or maybe just boredom! If sex has become mechanical, routine, hurried and one-sided, without a powerful push from hormones, desire will plummet.

People with higher desire than their partners should be aware that the more they push, the more likely it is that their mate will back down. Sexual desire is a natural biological drive and can not be talked, coerced, or shouted into action. The other thing people must learn is to avoid what I have called “all-or-nothing sex.” That’s when the only time one partner touches the other is when he or she wants physical gratification and does not stop until they get it. There is nothing in- between. This can be particularly devastating to a woman who has low desire for sex but a high need for nonsexual physical affection. Perhaps is she was touched more she would be more willing to try. Men need to remember that for many women, sex is more about the total relationship than about having an orgasm!

It’s a Tough Problem

I’ll be honest and state that the chances of someone going from zero desire to full steam ahead even with the help of a qualified sex therapist is pretty slim. Hormone supplements might help, but folks should always be aware of any possible side-effects. I do feel, however, that there is a way to deal with a desire discrepancy within the context to a loving and committed relationship if both parties are willing to compromise.

The strategy begins with the couple’s mutual agreement to redefine what their sexuality is all about. If one insists sex is only about orgasms, there is going to be trouble! Sexuality must be redefined as the intimate expression of caring, with or without orgasms. It must be viewed as the physical expression of their emotional passion, with or without arousal. This new definition of sexuality should include sensual massage, nonsexual fondling, and the verbal exchange of positive thoughts, fantasies and memories.

It must be understood that no one is purposefully rejecting the other, and love still exists even in the absence of frequent and spontaneous arousal. It must also be accepted that strong overwhelming feeling of desire are unlikely, and that this is as much a loss for the one with less desire as it is for the one with the stronger drive. However, it must also be recognized that some compromise must be met if the relationship is going to continue undamaged.

There is Hope

I had written of spontaneous arousal generated by a powerful biological drive. Forget it! I had also written of the influence of the environment in allowing psychogenic arousal, even in the absence of strong desire. To do this, all-or-nothing sex must be avoided. The level of romantic encounters should increase as should the amount of nonsexual touch and loving caress. Turn-ons and turn-offs should be openly discussed, and the couple should reminisce about their past loving and erotic activities together. Communication about pace and timing is essential. Novel and creative activities acceptable to both might be explored to bring some novelty into the bedroom… in fact, novelty can be added by playing in locations other than the usual room of the house where sexual attempts typically occured.

Now, all of that probably is something you have read elsewhere. But, the main element in the intimate compromise is to agree to set aside time in advance to relax together and, in a non- pressured atmosphere, to play. Bathing or showering together could be a start. Candle lite and soft music might help set the mood. Nonsexual caress with a warm massage oil would help the relaxation. I might happen that in the sensual process, the desire of the less interested individual might be stirred, and the session might move slowly into sexual activities. The partner with the stronger desire should realize that even if it moves in this direction and even if his or her mate experiences a pleasurable orgasm, the level of spontaneous desire of that partner will not increase. This is a strategy, not a cure!

Focusing on the Process, Not the Goal

In this process that begins almost from ground zero, it is absolutely essential that there is agreement that when one partner says something like “I’m gone about as far as I am going to go,” that the other partner will not push. The contribution of the hornier partner to the success of this strategy is his or her agreement to back away from the urge for completion so as not to pressure the other participant. However, the contribution of that partner with the lower desire is the promise to try the next level before asking that the progression end. In other words, if the nonsexual massage feels good and relaxing for a woman with a low sexual appetite, breast stimulation should be tried even in the absence of desire. If that feels good, the next step including genital stimulation should be tried, even in the absence of arousal.

Ignition Problems

Do you remember what I wrote about reflexogenic arousal. It is a neurological reflex that is triggered by direct stimulation of the clitoris of a woman or the penis of a man. With a woman who is not aroused, this should happen only with the added slipperiness of a safe and water- soluble lubricant (like K-Y or Astroglide), or with oral stimulation. There is a chance, if the person without spontaneous desire was able to relax and if the touch was unhurried and in just the right places and just the right time, that arousal will occur with this direct stimulation of the most erogenous areas. This is what I have called the “jump start” for people with “ignition problems.” Many people discover that even though their starters are broken, their motors will run just fine.

But, the jump start might not always occur and so the agreement to back up when something is not working holds true, even when the activities have moved to this level of genital involvement. When a limit is reached, it is very important to back up and slowly back out, even when there has been manual or oral caress of the genitals. However, care should be take to maintain the expression of sensual caring in this “cool down phase.” The person with the higher desire can always ask permission to masturbate while their partner holds them, and some partners might even be willing to help. This must never, however, be done to embarrass or intimidate a mate, but rather as the conclusion to an understandable, one one-sided, hunger that craves satisfaction.

Desire discrepancies can be troublesome, but with understanding, compassion, and a willingness to risk starting something that might not get finished, partners can avoid the anger and avoidance that might otherwise occur. The physical bonding in a long-term relationship is important enough for couples to seek a compromise that both can live with.

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7 Things to Know About Breasts by Kara Maria Ananda

A wonderful post about breasts!

Viva La Boobies! 7 Things to Know About Breasts

May 27, 2013

 

Breasts are amazing – they are beautiful, they nourish babies, and they have an intelligence of their own.

Breasts have so many incredible benefits for the health of humanity, the power of women, and the nurturing of the future generations.

Your breasts deserve a medal of honor – plus nurturing, pampering, and respect.

Yet, our breasts are suffering from the dangerous effects of rising environmental toxins in our food, water, air, and toiletries, degrading media, restrictive fashion, and lack of empowering health education for women.

I had a dream a few weeks ago that I was at a conference and the organizers asked me to get up on stage and speak about breast health. They said it was vital that we get more people to understand and value the importance of caring for our healthy breasts and that in order to get people’s attention I needed to be topless to speak. While I was still pondering whether or not I felt comfortable with being topless on stage, I woke up.

A few days later Angelina Jolie announced her decision to have her healthy breasts surgically removed because of her potential cancer risk. This action has inspired me even more to realize how vital it is that we join in this conversation and speak about how to naturally care for our breasts, how our environment, diet, and lifestyle impact our health, and why breast health is more important than every before.

Thus, my intention is to share positive inspiring information to support women to love their breasts and learn about ways to naturally care for our amazing breasts.

Let’s uplift breasts to the status level they deserve!

 

7 Amazing Things To Know About Breasts

Breasts want freedom.

Bras restrict the movement of lymphatic fluid through the breasts, underarm, and shoulders, thus causing toxins to build up in the breast tissue. Underwire bras are the worst culprit, as the metal also can disrupt the energy flow through the breast area. A recent French study has shown that women who don’t wear bras actually have perkier breasts even as they age. Exercising, dance, and rebounding without a bra also allows the body’s movements to support lymphatic flow and proper drainage of the breasts. The natural movement of the breasts as the body exercises and moves is another essential component to lymphatic health in the breasts.

Breasts need massage. 

There is no muscle tissue in a women’s breasts, so breasts need assistance to enhance circulation through the breast. A woman’s breasts are mostly fat tissue along with milk ducts, connective tissue, nerves, and lymph glands. Self breast massage is an important regular practice for women to support their blood and lymph circulation and reduce build-up of toxins and hormones in the fatty tissue of the breasts. Massage your breasts daily with a natural cold-pressed vegetable oil, such as coconut, almond, or jojoba oil. You can also add pure essential oils such as rose, jasmine, or clary sage to your massage oil base. I’m not talking about “man-handling” here, I’m talking about gentle self massage in which you get to know what your breasts feel like, notice any changes, and use gentle lymphatic and circulatory movements to enhance health.

Breasts are hot.

It has been well-documented that a woman’s breasts will synchronize with her newborn baby to become the perfect temperature. When a mother and baby are skin-to-skin postpartum, her breasts will naturally adjust their temperature to regulate the baby’s body temperature optimally. A mother of twins will have each of her breasts match the ideal temperature for each one of her twins. A women’s breasts are more reliable and efficient than any baby warmer. So breasts are totally hot – just not in the way people usually talk about.

 

Breastmilk has a gazillion medicinal uses. 

Breastmilk is pretty much the most amazing food substance available to mankind. Mother’s milk is completely unique and not possible to replicate (despite what you may have heard from the formula companies). It actually changes minute by minute, day to day, to provide exactly the right nourishment and immunities that a baby needs as determined by the breast through receiving information from the baby’s saliva on the areola. There are over 400+ identified nutrients in human breast milk, including probiotics and an abundant source of stem cells. The first milk that comes out is colostrum, which is rich with immune factors and is considered to be “liquid gold”, and extremely important for the life-long health of the baby. Breastmilk is also used by wise mamas for many purposes including putting on diaper rash, earaches, pink eye, sore throats, and many other healing needs. When a women breastfeeds the breastmilk bathes her milk ducts as it passes through to her baby, thus providing increased breast health and preventing breast cancer in direct relation to how long she nurses.

Breasts are energy centers.

Traditional Chinese Medicine is a complete system of health that has been practiced for thousands of years, based upon the movement of energy through the body on the meridians (energy lines) and acupoints (nodes of energy on the meridians). There are six meridians that run through the breast area, and three of them are the Kidney, Liver, and Stomach meridians where most breast lumps and cancer develop. TCM treats breast cancer by addressing the energy stagnation and movement of qi. Acupuncture and TCM are holistic ways to promote breast health and can be used in combination with other health care treatments as well. Massaging the acupressure points along the meridians, or holding these energy points around the breasts, can help with promoting breast and whole body health and vitality. Underwire bras can also interfere with the energy moving through the meridians in the breasts, another reason to let your boobs go free, or invest in a soft supportive natural fiber bra.

Breasts are a lot like canaries.

You’ve heard about the canary in the coal mine? Miners would take canaries down in the mines with them, because the birds were so sensitive that if the environment was toxic the canaries would die, and then the miners would know to get out of there immediately! Breasts are extremely sensitive, they receive information from the environment and their tissues collect toxins and hormones, like jet fuel and flame retardants. When breastfeeding, the saliva from the baby is absorbed into the areola and the breasts then immediately respond by providing the nutrients and immune factors that the baby needs based upon the breast’s incredibly sensitive receptors. Breast cancer is now the most common form of cancer for women in the US, and it’s not because breasts or our genes are the problem. Our breasts are the canaries letting us know that our environment is toxic and we must make changes in our health, diets, exposure, and detox. Due to the over 70,000 chemicals now used in the US over the last 100 years, we are living in a toxic soup and exposed to chemicals in our air, food, water, homes, cars, clothes, and more. Our breasts are letting us know that we need to create a healthy change for our longevity and the future generations.

Breasts are beautiful. 

Your breasts are perfect for you. All kinds of breasts are beautiful. Breasts change in shape and size over life, and that’s okay. Some men like large breasts, others prefer small breasts, and some like medium sized. Whatever shape or size of your boobs is just right. Love your breasts! They have superpowers, they are intelligent, and they are amazing! In Mongolia, when a baby fusses, everyone lifts up their shirt and shakes their breasts for the baby, and the baby calms down and looks around amazed. Everyone laughs and smiles shaking their boobs, including mom, grandma, and grandpa too! So smile and love your boobs, they are awesome.

Viva La Boobies!

Be well, Kara

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Sex Positions 101: Lock and Load (legs out)

Type of sex position: Rear entry.

Sex position degree of difficulty: Intermediate.

The male should start on top as he straddles her legs. As the female rests on her stomach, the male can thrust. By bending his elbows, the male can bring himself closer to his partner to kiss and whisper.

lockandloadlegsout

 

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Fleshbot’s True Erotic Stories: A Completely Unforeseen Mouth Fucking

A Completely Unforeseen Mouth Fucking

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Mama’s Boy is one of my best and oldest friends in the US whom I haven’t had sex with in almost 7 years. So when I went to crash at his place for the night after my weekend with Karlo and before I got on a bus back to Unitown the next morning, I had absolutely no idea that I would end up with his cock down my throat. Really. Zero idea, zero intention.

I met Mama’s Boy in my first week of moving to the States. He and his roommates were a breath of fresh air in the sea of boring, unattractive, badly dressed, suburban or rural, socially conservative, drinking-game obsessed engineering grad students that were my housemates. Mama’s Boy and his housemates were also All-American, suburban upper-middle class, fiscally conservative, drinking-game playing engineering grad students, but at least they were hot – tall, blond, pretty faces, in great shape, and decently well dressed. Mama’s boy and I hooked up that same night, and a few other times in the upcoming weeks. It was alright, but he was too inexperienced (had only 1 sex partner before me – his ex-girlfriend), too insecure, and too awkward about whole sex thing to handle a fuck buddy situation. After he developed an imaginary (i.e., psychosomatic) STI out of fear for fucking this crazy, promiscuous Eastern European, we decided we should just be friends. We haven’t hooked up since. There was no reason to think that weekend was going to be an exception.

After the amazing 20 hours spent with Karlo, followed by a fun few hours of lounging on my friends’ roof in Brooklyn afterpartying with cocaine and ketamine (some of that had yet to slept from the night before), I went to SOHO for a lovely dinner and drinks with Tye, the oldest friend I have who was visiting from Africa and the main reason I was in NYC that weekend. I had been hoping we would end up in a hotel room fucking each other’s brains out, but he was staying with an ex-girlfriend with whom he wasn’t having sex, yet couldn’t really fuck me either. Complicated. I’ll have much more to say about Tye in the future – not least because he agreed to write up the many sexual adventures we have experienced together over the 16 years we’ve known each other. He apparently remembers them much better than I do.

When Tye decided to go home, I contemplated texting Karlo and going back to his place for round two, but decided against it – too inconvenient for catching the bus back to Unitown in the morning, my pussy was already quite sore, and it was more fun leaving something for next time. I was also looking forward to seeing Mama’s Boy.

Mama’s Boy had just returned from a dinner and drinks with an Australian girl he’d met on the subway a few weeks ago – which was a pretty major success given how shy he is around women he finds attractive. This night was her last night in NYC before heading back to Australia – yet despite their mutual attraction, no one had made the first move, and they had parted ways without even a kiss. When I walked into his apartment he had just gotten a text from her.

Her: “I’m curious. Did you wanna sleep with me?”

Him: “Honestly, yes. Did you?”

Her: “Yeah. Damn, missed opportunity.”

I was furious. “Why, oh why, didn’t you make the move?!”

“I wasn’t sure if she were interested,” was his excuse.

“Well of course you weren’t sure! Usually signs that someone is attracted to you are subtle. What were you expecting? A neon billboard up on Times Square? A ‘fuck me, please’ whispered in your ear? Those don’t happen very often,” I was practically yelling at him. “Especially if your time is limited, as in this case, you have to make a move in that state of uncertainty and hope for the best. If it doesn’t work out, you have nothing to lose.”

“Yeah, but what if the sex was bad?” he tried to further justify his inaction.

“And what if it was amazing sex?” I wasn’t letting go.

“Well, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s just a night of casual sex,” was his final attempt at an excuse.

“Sure, it’s just a night of casual sex, but it’s those little moments of fun and pleasure that make our lives exciting. And I want you to have an exciting life,” I countered.

I really do. I’ve been trying to get him out of his timid, insecure shell for a long time. I feel like he’s letting his life slip away in incessant doubt and anxiety, missing out on so many amazing opportunities NYC has to offer…

It was late and we got ready for bed: we always share his bed when I crash in his one-bedroom apartment . Before turning the lights off, I asked for the usual “abs check”: Every time I see him, I like to lift up his shirt, get a good look at his torso, and run my fingers over his hard, toned stomach. This is never meant to arouse him or lead to something more. It’s just a fun, playful way of showing him that his persistent workout efforts are paying off and that he should appreciate his beautiful body more, all the while relishing the wonderfully sculpted muscular flesh under my fingertips.

He usually lets me do this for a minute, then gets uncomfortable and pushes me away. But this time, he didn’t push me away. Not only did he not push me away, he actually muttered something about how good that felt. I was a little puzzled, but kept rubbing his chest, stomach, and arms. Slowly and gently, savoring his soft and mostly hairless skin, each bulging muscle, each protruding vein. He really has a delightful body. After about 6-7 minutes of this, the naughty thoughts started cagily forming in my mind.

“What’s going on with you tonight? You never let me do this for more than a minute?” I asked.

“I don’t know. It feels good,” he replied.

“Yeah, but it always feels good,” I wasn’t happy with that answer.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m just horny, after all that happened with the Australian girl…” he offered.

I took that as a potential invitation to go further. The next time my hand was on his abdomen, I didn’t stop there, I kept going down and briefly ran my hand over his boxers. He was soft, but, again, he didn’t try to stop me. I went back to rubbing his torso. A minute later, I returned to his cock. He was semi-hard now. Promising. I gave his cock a few squeezes over the boxers. He got fully erect. After having had Karlo’s monster dick in my hand, Mama’s Boy’s average-sized member felt small, but I remembered to put things in perspective. I fished his erection out of the boxers and started gently jerking him.

Mama’s Boy circumcision has been done pretty tightly, with very little extra skin left on his shaft, so it’s impossible to jerk him off without lube. I also didn’t want to just give him a handjob; I wanted an orgasm myself. The feverish lust built up in me from the weekend with Karlo lingered on, and I knew it wouldn’t take long to add one more orgasm to the daily count. But I didn’t really want to fuck. My pussy was sore and swollen, and fucking just seemed like a lot of work for my exhausted body. Mama’s Boy didn’t wanna fuck either – it’d be too big of a jump from nothing to penetration for his shy, cautious self. So I decided on the one thing I knew was going to make both of us cum easily, quickly, and without too much effort or bodily involvement.

“Fuck my mouth,” I suggested. “Not a blowjob, a mouthfucking. That way I can come too.”

I quickly threw the t-shirt and sweats off my body, and positioned myself underneath him so I could look at his hard body kneeling over me. He slid his cock in my mouth and started pounding. My hand reached down into my panties and started playing with my clit. I couldn’t stop thinking about how ridiculously slutty and insatiable I was being. Surely one shouldn’t be allowed to have this much fun?

I knew it was going to be hard to cum with him on his knees and me on my back, so after a bit I flipped both of us over to our sides. In less than a minute, I was screaming into his cock in an orgasm, almost immediately followed by the sensation of his sperm hitting the back of my throat.

“Nice. I needed that,” he said smiling.

“Yeah, I bet,” I nodded knowingly. “So did I.”

We put our clothes back on and went to sleep. In the morning, we got coffee at the local coffee shop, and chatted about life, work, relationships, and sex. He swore he was OK with what happened the night before, and promised he wouldn’t get all weird on me. He walked me over to the subway, and off I went back to Unitown.

Read more hot stories at Fleshbot Fiction. This story republished with permission from Pervertically Virtuous. Want to see your true tale of lust on Fleshbot? Contact us. See more hot smut at X-Art.

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