A wise man once gave me advice at a wedding that the days would be long, but the years would be short. Indeed, I have found over the last 20 years of my relationship that it’s easy to get overwhelmed by the minutia that is our daily life… the schedule planning and kid shuttling, the working and working out, the cooking and cleaning. And in the midst of that overwhelm, it’s so easy to say “No” to the things that would really nourish our souls, the things that we’ll remember at the end of the year when we realize how quickly it has gone by.
In 2000, we began this website as an ongoing exercise in keeping our relationship fresh and exciting – sexually – by seeking to expand our relationship boundaries (though stopping short of exceeding monogamy) through sex toys, BDSM, watching porn and reading erotica, role playing, love making experimentation, and education. Looking back over the last 15 years or so, it would be an understatement to say we’ve tried just about everything a long-term marriage could bear in terms of intimacy, and it goes without saying that many of our forays resulted in spectacular sensual highs we continue to enjoy sporadically – anal sex, vibrators, spanking, to name a few – while others fell flat and faded over time (porn watching, BDSM, and reading erotica). Indeed, whereas we once gauged our sexual health by high frequency intercourse, we’ve now become satisfied with once or twice per week, enduring long stretches of inactivity without the need to seek marriage counseling or panic because we think it a sign we’ve lost our physical passion. Our own assessment finds our sex life has settled into a pattern of boring predictability; however, rather than recoil at this undeniable cooling of our once mighty libidos, we find plenty of excitement in our lust for both each other and the remainder of our lives together. Continue reading →