There are a lot of Tantra and sexuality teachers out there teaching strict rules about sex…
– Woman: Don’t you dare have a clitoral orgasm! It’s so immature, and you’ll become grumpy and disconnected
– Man: Don’t ejaculate or you’ll end up energetically depleted
– Both of you: Don’t even bother to orgasm at all, you’ll have a dopamine crash and end up personally destroyed
I think rules like these are like “fad-diets” – they sound sexy and like they’ll work. And you might even get some quick results, until you crash and it probably isn’t even all that healthy to begin with.
A lot of these teachers become notorious and get a lot of attention, just like “fad-diet” gurus.
People love rules – they give a certain comfort – they make you feel like you’re really getting somewhere.
Just as we’ve battled with our addictions and use of food, we’ve been battling our addictions and use of sex.
The answer isn’t crazy control, it’s balance, and the simple choices day in and day out.
When it comes to sex, it’s just like diet. Eat real food. Not too much. Mostly Plants.
When it comes to sex….Make real Love. Relax and Be Present. Breathe deeply and follow your Impulses.
I think a lot of “spiritual teachings” actually end up setting us on a path for war with ourselves.
Kill your ego. Stop desiring so much. Let go. Surrender. Either be celibate, or at least stop ejaculating or orgasming so much.
For God’s Sake: WHY?
Do you really think the creator set you up so that all of your natural impulses are the path to destruction?
Where does going to war with your humanity make you more real, more present, more alive?
Because if it isn’t real and present and alive, then it isn’t spiritual.
Same goes for sex.
If you find yourself controlling, battling and restricting your sexuality, it’s just sending you down another rabbit hole.
I believe the only true redemption comes first and foremost from being fully in love with and fully at peace with our humanity – and a huge part of humanity is sexuality.
Anything that isn’t arising from that kind of deeply self-loving foundation is a masked escape.
Escape from where?
The present, of course.
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