Category Archives: Adult Video

Visual stimulation.

The 7 Best Tablets for Watching Online Pornography

google-nexus-7-2-vs-ipad-mini

Consuming online adult content, whether paid or free, presents a unique set of challenges for couples. Not only do you want to explore sexual-oriented material privately, but concerns with legality (age, type of sex, etc.) and convenience enter into the equation. If you have children in your household, for example, you’d rather they not accidentally find your DVD stash or stumble over a risqué website on your computer. With the popularity of tablets now reaching saturation level, it’s not only natural that they make their way into our sex lives, but offer a safe and easy way to bring titillating digital content safely into your relationship. In fact, tablet’s small form factors make online consumption of adult content easier and more private than ever. We test drove a few models and ranked them accordingly, with our criteria being ease of use, ability to stream adult video from both pay and free websites (Gamelink, Watchers Web, and Redtube), display still photos, find erotic stories, and block pop-up ads and prevent malware. Only one entry offered multiple, protected logins, so props to Microsoft’s Surface for enabling us to ensure our teen son could be locked out, accordingly. So which slab of technology should you get to motivate your sexual adventures? Continue reading

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DVD Review: Great Sex Getaway

greatsexgetawayAfter 25 years together our sex life, while still fairly active, can definitely suffer lapses. Most are brought on by simple laziness; that is, we get so set in our respective routines and comfortable in our familiar surroundings (read: home) that there’s simply less motivation toward being creative, sexually. In fact, as hard as it is to write this, sometimes sex is simply more trouble than it’s worth. Yes, folks, the couple who run this site and who should have every reason to engage in sex of every sort imaginable, are just as prone to sexual droughts as anyone else.

Of course, it’s not so simple as to simply flick a switch and turn things back on, recapturing the heat we had in our mid-20’s, when we began dating and “doing it” 3-4 times PER DAY. Such is the privilege of youth, we guess. These days, on the cusp of our half century inhabiting this planet, our libidos, at times, barely register a blip, instead being content to curl up together on the couch for a twin viewing of “Modern Family” and “Parks and Recreation.” Ah, Leslie Knope, is there nothing you can’t accomplish.

Which brings us to this review. We have long been fans of the Loving Sex series of instructional sex videos, so much so that we sometimes turn to them in place of actual porn for adult viewing to turn us on. The couples are pretty “normal,” considering, with the sex and lessons being woven in nicely and enough tips for even savvy couples to gain benefit. One of their latest titles, “Great Sex Getaway,” promises to “Break the monotony and discover how to make sexual sharing with your partner a #1 priority again.” OK, we thought, with a claim this bold we just had to fire up the DVD player to test their bold proclamation. Would “Great Sex Getaway” indeed bring back some passion and provoke us to reach for the lubricant and sex toys over reruns of “Grimm” on Hulu?

First, the details. “Great Sex Getaway” is divided into nine chapters as follows: Relaxation, Foreplay, five chapters devoted to The Senses (taste, touch, etc.), Positions, “Go Wild,” and BDSM. Dr. Patti Britton, a well respected Sex Therapist, introduces each segment with an open lecture featuring the three couples who will appear throughout the entire video to act out her instructions. Each chapter builds on the one previous, the sex scenes becoming more explicit as the topics become edgier. By the final act, a full-blown (and hot) BDSM scene is played out on a sex swing and the DVD then ends with a few parting words. All in all, “Great Sex Getaway” is a solid effort and we ended up making love each time we finished a chapter over a period of three weeks. There are no ejaculation shots (pardon the pun), and the general tenderness of the sex scenes are appropriate for all but the most prudish couples. Lighting is soft and we were happily surprised to see no silicone enhancements. If we had any complaint regarding this title, it would be the music, which is kind of cheesy and low grade for such nice visuals.

In summation, we really liked “Great Sex Getaway,” which is another great offering from Alexander Institute, which now has over 40 titles in their adult education catalog. If your sex life is showing signs of being stagnant, we highly suggest you give it a look.

Interested in purchasing this title? Freddy and Eddy has an exclusive offer with Alexander Institute whereby you get to choose ANY 2nd title FREE with the purchase of “Great Sex Getaway!” Click here to visit our online store for more details.

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DVD Review: Not the Brady’s XXX


Not the Bradys XXX



Starring: 
Alana EvansAurora Snow,Hillary ScottLynn LeMayLeah Luv,Veronique Vega, Paulina James,Jasmine Byrne, James Deen, Benjamin Brat
Eddy Freddy

Comments

A spot-on parody of our favorite 70’s family. Marcia, Marcia Marcia!
Alana Evans Hillary Scott Aurora Snow Leah Luv Jasmine Byrne James Deen   Benjamin Brat
Synopsis: Faced with financial difficulties at home due to slow business at his architectural firm, Mike and his wife Carol reluctantly tell the kids that the entire household will be on a budget for the next few months until business picks back up and the cash crisis ends. The kids get together and decide to help out by taking on odd jobs, holding car washes and pitching in wherever they can to help save the family house from bank foreclosure. Wild fun and mayhem ensue especially when Marcia unwittingly applies for a job as a ‘figure model’ and finds out she’s about to star in a porn movie.

Our Review: (Care of Roger T. Pipe of www.Rogreviews.com) I’ve been looking forward to this movie for close to a year now. Ever since we heard about a porn version of the much beloved sit-com and saw the high profile display in Vegas, it has been on the top of everyone’s must-see list. It is a great idea for a porn parody, but is also potentially a train wreck. Luckily, the pieces all seem to be in place. Director Wil Ryder is the man behind the Britney Rears movies and we all know how well those have worked out. He handled those pop culture fantasy flicks wonderfully. If the same sense of humor and sexual fantasy play are present here, this should be a success. The cast is also crucial here. Just handing out familiar names to a punch of porn chicks and meat puppets would signal something cheap and lame. In reality we have perfect casting. Industry vets Mike Horner and Alana Evans as mom and dad are great. Both can handle dialog and Alana is experienced enough without looking old enough to actually be Mike’s wife. Hillary Scott as Marcia is an inspired bit of casting, though it should be an obvious one. You want someone cute, wholesome and pretty who also fucks like her crotch is on fire? That’s Hillary baby. Aurora Snow as Jan is just as brilliant. She has the look, especially in this movie and can play that frustrated second banana role beautifully. Leah Luv is a cute barely legal girl who should give us a great turn as Cindy. The guys? They don’t matter as much, but if it matters to you, they are also well cast. All of the pieces are in place so we just have to put them in the right setting. After all, a Brady parody wouldn’t mean much without the right clothes and sets. Both are handled beautifully here. I’ll talk more about that in the close, but color me impressed already. The theme song is fucking brilliant, the look perfect, the clothes wonderfully dated and….well, read on.

When the non-Bradys run into financial difficulties, the kids all pitch in to help.

Jasmine Byrne & Mikey Butders

Though Marcia finds work easily as a figure model, it is Bobby who lands the first film role. He is just trying to save the house and ends up on set with sexy Jasmine. She is hot as ever, but jumps right into full quag mode the second his dick hits her lips. That mess stops for a while though. So we end up with a blowjob that looks incredible and is only partially annoying. There is something wonderfully naughty about Jasmine every time she starts talking dirty. She keeps that up as she rides his dick, giving us the lovely sight of her puffy lips around a dick and the sweet sound of a woman who knows how to sell it. The sex looks great, is very energetic and ends with a big facial. They let the camera roll as the cum drips off of her chin and she licks her fingers clean.

Leah Luv & Kurt Lockwood

The girls try a car wash to raise money, but Cindy runs into a greasy dude who offers her big money for something special. Kurt Lockwood shows up and is soon sharing a couch with little Cindy. Since Leah has always had the barely legal thing going, she fits perfectly into this role and gives a solid pigtailed blowjob. Her heart shaped pubes are cute and so is Leah as she bounces energetically in reverse cowgirl. There is some nice cowgirl footage and very hard mish fucking. For the most part Kurt keeps his mouth shut and his feet well away from her cute face. That alone makes the scene better than we might have expected it to be. They have good energy, play up the pigtails and braces angle and end with a nice shot on her face that gets mostly swallowed.

Aurora Snow & Tee Reel

Jan stays busy with her boyfriend on the back lawn. Tee provides the hard dick and she just sucks it like a perfect girlfriend. As usual, the excels with the eye contact and ball sucking. Since she looks the most like the Brady she is portraying, this scene has some added fantasy appeal. It also features stunning hand work as she makes his dick disappear into her throat. Aurora looks really good, especially with her legs spread wide for some serious pussy licking. He slides easily into her pussy and gets a good response from the sexy middle daughter. The little white socks thing is pretty cute, but the reverse cowgirl really steals the show. Aurora looks great and fucks like she’s having a great time. Tee bends her over and grabs her by the hair, fucking her hard from behind. In the end he nuts all over her face, giving u a fantastic scene. This is one of the strongest Aurora scenes we have seen in a while.

Paulina James and Veronique Vega & James Deen

Peter must be the popular brother in the family because he has two hot brunettes pop by just for a fuck. Paulina and Veronique share the dick and both are cute, but Paulina emerges as the true star here. She plays perfectly to the camera, takes that cock deep and keeps her tongue busy any time she isn’t the focus of attention. Don’t get me wrong, Veronique shines as well. She is particularly fetching as she mounds his cock and rides in reverse cowgirl. The girls are very interested in each other and that makes for some great reaction shots as they watch one another get fucked. In addition to the hot sex scene, we should note that this set really does look like the old Brady Boys room from the TV show. Kudos to the set designer and everyone in charge of this aspect of the production. All that wouldn’t mean much without the great energy and the shared facial finish provided by these sexy little hose beasts. Way to go Pete.

Alana Evans & Mike Horner

Ever wonder what Mike and Carol did when the lights went out? Not surprisingly, they get down and dirty. Mike drives his blonde wife crazy with some serious rug munching and in return he gets a killer BJ. Alana has always been one of porn’s most enthusiastic cock suckers so she brings a lot to the table here. She even uses her big titties to her advantage. She didn’t always have those, but they add to the action here. The funky wig on her head makes her look a lot older than she is, but we get a pretty nice little scene from this hot industry vet. The doggy really works and she uses two hands at the end to jerk his load right onto her waiting mouth.

Hillary Scott & Benjamin Brat

There is only one couple left to get busy. After getting hit in the face by a football (Remember that episode) Marcia hunts Greg down and insists that they make a porno movie to help out mom and dad. He eats her pussy and gets her ready, but we can tell that she wants more. Then Ben acts out the fantasy of nearly every male in America by sticking his cock right into Marcia’s mouth. Hillary is so fucking pretty that this scene would be great even without the fantasy aspects at play. When her mouth isn’t stuffed full of cock, Hillary is talking dirty or licking his balls. Yes folks Marcia has what it takes to be a serious porn slut. She straddles his cock and works her pussy up and down, taking every inch as her delectable boobies bounce for us. They finish off this sexy scene with a big shot on her face. There is a nice little surprise ending as well.

Bonus:

Just a little note. There is an extensive thank you list at the end and I made it on there. The bonus material consists of a two part behind the scene reel that is funny, interesting and nicely paced. It is much more than your usual BTS in that regard. There are interviews with HillaryAurora and Alana as well as with the director of this fine little adult movie. There is a making of the soundtrack feature for you music fans out there. We also get trailers for other X Play movies. Nice collection of bonus material on that, but we expect that from anything X Play puts out.

I love this movie. It’s the perfect blend of hilarious parody, sexual fantasy, solid feature and strokeable smut. Everything from the sets to the music are wonderful. They even threw in some continuity errors that can be seen as a fitting tribute to a show that was rife with them. Let’s just hope those were on purpose. As a feature, Not the Bradys XXX works even better than the Britney Rears movies. It’s a simple script with universally funny themes. Brady girls doing porn. Yeah, that works for me. It answers all those questions we had about the show. What do Mike and Carol do when they are alone? What would happen if Marcia and Greg ever got it on? Does that fake grass cause horrible rug burn? Could Cindy suck dick with braces? Of course it fails to answer a few burning questions. How can six kids share one bathroom? What exactly does Mrs. Brady with her day? Not the Bradys XXX is easily one of the top comedies of 2007. It is a wonderfully made movie with a great sense of humor and huge fantasy appeal. Of course all of this great stuff wouldn’t mean a thing if the sex wasn’t hot. How does Not the Bradys stack up sexually? Pretty damn well. Hillary and Aurora are fantastic. They look great, stay in character and provide plenty of heat. Jasmine Byrne and Paulina James are great additions to the cast as well. The women look great, they bring good energy to the action and everyone stays in character. What more could you ask for? Maybe for Sam the Butcher to really slip some meat to Alice. I don’t know that they can get the cast together again, but this movie is good enough to be the next great porn franchise. Some of us have waited a long, long time for some of these prime time fantasies to come true and thanks to Hillary ScottAurora Snow, Wil Ryder and Jasmine Byrne, they finally do. Brilliantly put together and sexually hot, Not the Bradys XXX is worth picking up and is a strong contender for comedy of the year.

Click to view front and back covers.
View the trailer by clicking here!
To purchase “Not the Bradys XXX,” click here or on the links above.

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Adult Video Review: Not Three’s Company XXX

Not Three’s Company XXX
Hustler $24.95

Starring:
 
Penny FlameBrynn TylerVan DamageSienna West,Tommy GunnNina HartleyMadison ScottAllyssa HallRoxy Jezel, Ron Jeremy
Eddy Freddy

Comments

Hustler’s best parody yet. Brynn Tyler is pitch perfect as Chrissy and Penny Flame delivers as always!
Penny Flame Brynn Tyler Van Damage Sienna West Tommy Gunn Nina Hartley   Madison Scott

Synopsis: When Jack loses his restaurant job the kids can’t afford rent so Chrissy picks up a night job leading Janet, Jack & the Ropers to think she’s become a hooker.  Crazy, hilarious & dirty situations result in non-stop sucking & fucking as gorgeous tits, ass & pussy abound in this hardcore spoof of the classic ‘70s TV show.

Our Review: Finding couples-appropriate porn isn’t as easy as you’d think. Many companies, though earnest in their attempts to reach our demographic, often fail to deliver due to too many factors to delve into here. We’ll simply say that their task is difficult, most obviously because trying to appeal to both women AND men, who interpret what’s on screen in vastly different ways, is almost impossible to achive. In our case, we usually have to sift through dozens – if not hundreds – of titles before we come upon one that we both like.

Luckily for us, Hustler (and Xplay) has spawned a niche that seems to work quite well from both our perspectives. That is to say the relatively new phenomenon of XXX television show parodies, which now include sexy spoofs on “The Munsters, The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family,” and even “Bewitched.” Their latest, “Not Three’s Company XXX,” ups the ante for the entire genre, with smart writing, dead-on character choices, and (oh, yes) hot sex scenes. This title was so good, in fact, we were actually sorry to see it end and we’re greatly anticipating a follow-up, provided Hustler can get the same cast to return.

Key to the Three’s Company “sitcum,” first and foremost, is its very able cast. Penny Flame, who always seems on her A-game, shines as Janet, while Brynn Tyler absolutely nails Chrissy. Van Damage ably channels John Ritter, while Tommy Gunn adds just the right hint of smarminess to the always scheming Larry. Everyone else, from Nina Hartley’s suprise appearance as Mrs. Roper, to Sienna West’s luscious rendering of Lana is pitch perfect.

As for the sex, any scene containing Brynn Tyler (there are two) got us quite hot and bothered, while Penny Flame turned her lesbian encounter into 15 minutes of strapon sizzle. We particularly loved Chrissy’s little sister (Roxy Jezel) showing up to service Jack, with Mr. Furley making an appearance with a prostitute to round things out. Tommy Gunn’s Larry pairs with Sienna West’s Lana to add yet more spice to the hijinks. We won’t go into the plot, but will divulge that it’s VERY much in keeping with the original series’ tendencies to elevate miscommunications.

In summary, we loved this title, and it’s been a long time since we could say this about a video not containing pirates.

Click to view front and back covers. View the trailer by clicking hereTo purchase “Not Three’s Company XXX,” click here or on the links above.

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Video Review: The Tao of Great Sex DVD

taoofsex

The Tao of Great Sex is an instructional video from the Alexander Institute, perhaps the most well-known sex education companies in existence. We have long been fans of their understated, dignified, and sexy approach to intimacy and this title continues on their well established standard. It doesn’t hurt that Alexander Institute uses “real” couples as opposed to porn stars, as this lends a more authentic air to the proceedings – awkwardness being an asset worth noting. Scenes are shot tastefully, devoid of ejaculation shots or exaggerated climaxes, instead focusing on foreplay, connection, and subdued instruction to assist the shy and advanced alike. However, make no mistake, in addition to being a more informed lover after viewing The Tao of Great Sex, you will also be quite turned on.

The Tao of Great Sex provides knowledge of Asian sexual techniques – Chinese in particular – and accompanying philosophies dating back hundreds of years. After an informative history lesson on the Tao, there are eight chapters covering the following subjects: erotic kissing, erotic massage (back), female satisfaction, erotic massage (front), sexual positions,erotic massage (whole body), ejaculation control, and finally a section on “a thousand loving thrusts,” which covers different thrusting rhythms for maximum pleasure. The video is introduced by Liu Dalin, a professor of sociology at Shanghai University, who explains that a healthy attitude toward sex is vital to a healthy life, in general. There is then a basic explanation of the “Tao,” which means “the way.” Hence, the “Tao of Sex,” simply translates to “the way of sex.” Yin and Yang is then described and shown how it relates to sexuality (for example, ejaculation is not necessary to satisfying, nor is it even the highest form of sexual ecstasy. In other words, orgasm and ejaculation are treated as two separate and distinct concepts, with orgasm trumping ejaculation as the highest sexual calling.

Following the introduction, each chapter then demonstrates specific practices toward improving love making based on how the Tao relates to the chapter subject(s), building as it progresses toward full intercourse in the final segment. Various couples are used, the most prominent being a Chinese woman and her Caucasian lover, giving the viewer a nice set of visuals to go along with the lessons. As we happen to be just such a mixed couple, it was definitely nice to see a pairing that reflected our own ethnicity makeup and the producers did a nice job of filling out the roster with other racially varied participants. The erotic massage instruction is particularly detailed and we could recommend this title highly on this strength alone. There’s so much more to recommend, but we’d rather not spoil this outstanding title by revealing too much. Suffice it to say you will “come” away from watching this DVD informed, titillated, and raring to put your new knowledge into practice immediately!

DVD extras include a few excerpts from Alexander Institute’s other titles, as well as the ability to switch between three additional languages (Spanish, German, and French). There is also a tips section featuring sexuality expert Dr.Patti Britton, with text answers to common sex-related questions on condoms, anal sex, vibrators, etc. Though a bit sparse in the extras, we can’t fault Alexander Institute too much; after all, they give over two full hours of excellent content and that was more than enough to justify its purchase. We give The Tao of Great Sex our highest recommendation.

Interested in purchasing this title? Visit our online store (we offer a special two for one purchase on all Alexander Institute DVD’s) or visit their website here.

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Video Review: Blacklight Beauty

Synopsis: A series of hard core, hypnotic sex scenes.

Our Review: If the Island Fever series of adult titles is the industry’s ultimate play to the couples audience, Blacklight Beauty will certainly take its place as the ultimate anti-island-fever-anything experience. No tropical paradises found here, thank you; more likely you’ll witness dirty restrooms, back alleys, and seedy strip clubs, featuring performers to match. “Dark” is the operative word here, so beware if you’re looking for something to set a romantic mood or provide attractive background visuals for your tender evening of snuggling under comfy sheets.

Instead, and if you can take your porn raunchy and explicit, “Blacklight Beauty” provides one of the most incredible adult viewing experiences you’re likely to find anywhere, with attention to detail simply not present in any other title we’ve ever seen. Director Jack the Zipper takes us into the depths of depravity; what emerges from this muck is a nightmarish collection of sex scenes meant to disturb, provoke, and ultimately result in sexual encounters of the most voracious kind. This is no masturbation tool made for 5 grand. Think MTV music videos gone amok and you’ll start to get the picture. There’s no idiotic plot, attempt at acting, or desert scenes out past Palmdale, either.

In our case, we sat mesmerized for three sittings getting through it’s 10 sex scenes, which range from a bathroom tryst to a gang bang to clown sex in a strip club, with all manner of debauchery in-between. The participants look like they just attended a Sex Pistols concert (or worse) and there’s not an ounce of silicone found anywhere. In fact, we only recognized ONE performer (Charlie Laine) – male OR female – which in itself made for a refreshing change. No knock on Evan Stone or Randy Spears, but do they have to be in EVERY porn film? The action moves deliberately and often switches effortlessly between different looks (color to black and white and back, for example) and one scene taking place in a freight elevator ranks as one of the most unusual and original we’ve viewed.

Given all this, we still have to mention the most impressive feature of “Blacklight Beauty,” which is the music. Never before have we encountered such attention to an adult soundtrack and were relieved to finally be able to watch sex scenes with music that actually BELONGS. Not only that, but the choices, which range from hard core punk, weird ambient, driving metal, and even Dick Dale-esque slack key guitar (a-la Pulp Fiction) all fit perfectly with the sex scenes they accompany. However, if you’re looking for tunes to set a romantic mood, this is NOT the title to consider.

Our final thought addresses a more intangible concept that Blacklight Beauty forced us to confront. That is, the guilt we felt during and after watching this film. What we mean by this is that, given how raunchy and hardcore Blacklight Beauty gets, we were forced to deal with conflicting feelings of increased sexual tensions (getting turned on, in other words) and at the same time unmistakable revulsion at what was taking place on the screen. The feature piece, for example, is a VERY intense gang-bang with a young woman taking on at least six males, shown only in silhouette with their cocks prominently surrounding her as she takes each and every one of them in just about every way imaginable. Rough stuff like this usually makes us squirm a bit (and often reach for the remote in a hurry) and we try to preach against exploitation of this extreme nature every chance we get. Unfortunately, we were so turned on we fucked like wild beasts. This has been the case each time we pop in the DVD; we don’t want to like it, but we can’t argue with the results, which are that we are unmistakably out of our minds horny.

In summation, WE love this title and have moved it to our top spot. It’s impeccably crafted (even the packaging is top notch), original, and hot. That is NOT to say YOU will like it; but if you’re looking for something different, provocative, and completely different in your adult viewing, “Blacklight Beauty” is one stunning example.

Click here for large front and back cover shots.

Interested in purchasing Blacklight Beauty? Click here or on the links above.

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Video Review: Pirates 2 – Stagnetti’s Revenge

Synopsis: The much anticipated follow-up to Pirates, this chapter follows the hapless crew as they search for one of their missing mates, battling a host of baddies before encountering the evil pirate Stagnetti, resurrected from Davy Jones’ locker by an evil sorceress.

Our Review: Reviewing this feature has been no small feat. Unlike most adult releases, “Pirates 2” seeks to be a mainstream movie first, adult movie second, and porn flick almost as an afterthought. For this reason, the clever folks at Digital Playground made a crucial decision with regard to the sex scenes (which we’ll talk more about later), the validity of which remains to be seen in the marketplace over time. One thing is indisputable, though; “Pirates 2” accomplishes the seemingly impossible, putting together a solid production, great cast, and impressive collection of sex scenes that surpass its predecessor in almost every way.

That’s not to say “Pirates 2” is on par with even the lowest budget Sci-fi channel offering (it isn’t, given its modest budget widely reported in the 2-3 million dollar range, though we suspect it to be higher), but it more than makes up for its deficiencies through steady direction by Joone, as well as crisp dialogue and well-timed special effects. Being an adult feature, it’s unfortunate mainstream actors don’t exactly line up for casting calls for this kind of thing; however, the lineup of industry veterans, led by workhorse Evan Stone and super trooper Jesse Jane, gamely give their all and bring plenty of credibilty to their roles of Captain Edward Reynolds and Jules Steele, respectively. The rest of the crew, led by Belladonna, Katsuni, Tommy Gunn, and a host of fresh faces deliver plenty of energy to both the sexual pairings and motivation of the story throughout (we especially liked Shay Jordan as a precocious “masseuse”). Steven St. Croix, hilarious as usual, steals the movie reprising his role as Jesse Jane’s jilted lover.

We don’t want to spoil things too much, plot-wise, so we’ll just say “Pirates 2 – Stagnetti’s Revenge,” begins with Jesse Jane and Evan Stone embarking on a quest to find Serena (see the first movie if you wish to know more about her), hoping to gain her pardon from the authorities hunting and persecuting pirates. Along the way, they encounter an evil sorceress (Katsuni), looking to resurrect the evil pirate Stagnetti (killed in their last encounter), picking up a few hapless crew members in the process. There are plenty of sword fights, run ins with fearsome creatures, and near fatal encounters before it all comes to an explosive conclusion almost three hours later. We have to say that for an adult feature, the story held our interest far better than 90% of the shlock on television these days and we’d dare say it holds its own against more than a few mainstream Hollywood films,the moronic “Journey to the Center of the Earth” and unwatchable “National Treasure, Book of Secrets” being two prime examples of production teams who could learn a few things interning under the Digital Playground brain trust.

All this being the case, we certainly didn’t anxiously tear the shrink wrap from this gorgeous box set just to see a bunch of pirates duking it out on the high seas. No siree. We came for the sex, and in that regard this title delivers. And delivers and delivers and delivers. In fact, there’s so much sex it took us almost three full weeks to reach the end credits (when we get turned on watching porn, we usually have to hit pause and turn our attention toward each other). With the only oddity being the ommision of Jesse Jane and Evan Stone going at it (which is something to behold, as witnessed in other productions where they do), the sheer volume of steam pouring out of our screen was enough to roast our sheets before spilling one drop of lube. Shay Jordan, as an annoying little Asian masseuse, is especially scintillating in three scenes, while Jesse Jane and Belladonna go full throttle in each and every minute of on screen passion. The rest of the performers definitely earn their paychecks (does Jenna Haze ever turn in a bad performance?), with the costuming and set design never anything but first rate. As in the first “Pirates,” the placement of each and every sexual interlude makes contextual sense. We never once questioned why or how any of the characters ended up in bed (or wherever), and though we imagine dental care wasn’t quite up to snuff back in those days, we forgive the allowance of perfect pearly whites adorning a good blow job.

If there is one complaint we have, it’s that the sex scenes are cut down to barely three minutes each within the movie’s context, making it necessary to pop in disc two for the full versions (which we did just about every time – they’re that good). We understand the reasoning behind this decision – the movie would stretch to over four hours long if the sex scenes were left unedited – but it might have been nice to allow some sort of option to choose the marathon way through. Still, with an enormous abundance of extras spanning four discs, we’re not going to quibble over Digital Playground’s decision, nor allow it to taint our respect for their production.

In summation, Digital Playground has once again put every adult company to shame and raised the bar to virtually impossible heights attainable by any but they themselves. To say it was a fun and pleasure able experience for a couple who’ve become so jaded by same-old, same-old adult video fare, we cannot heap high enough praise on this sexy slice of entertainment. Kudos to the decision makers at Digital Playground (is it a coincidence the company is woman owned?) for putting together the best adult feature of 2008 and we can’t wait for “Pirates 3!”

Interested in purchasing Pirates 2? Click here to visit our online store.

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