Tag Archives: adult sex

Husbands Who Lose Interest In Sex Might Have Something Else Going On

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By Heidi Stevens
Chicago Tribune

There’s a passage at the beginning of Michele Weiner Davis’ 2008 book, “The Sex-Starved Wife: What to Do When He’s Lost Desire,” that underscores what experts say is a larger problem than our culture lets on.

“You ask yourself, ‘What’s wrong with me? Aren’t I attractive?’ ” Weiner Davis writes. “How did you manage to hook up with the one man in the world who would prefer doing just about anything other than making love to you? Why isn’t he like all the other guys?”

The one man in the world. All the other guys. Continue reading

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Must Read: How to Have Sex With Me One Time

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Don’t tell me I’m beautiful. I’m here, aren’t I? Like, I’m here. I’m doing this and I have a reason…somewhere. I know you’re supposed to think I’m beautiful, and I know I’m supposed to think so too, for now. Your mother probably had you believe that no girl really wants to have sex, and thus you think you have to talk her into it. You have to make her feel special. But see, I’m not your mother’s daughter. At least I hope not. Gross.

And what does it mean, beautiful? I guess a lot of girls are beautiful when it’s dark and their heads are all the way down there, aren’t they? Aren’t they all? Continue reading

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Got a Minute for Quickie Sex?

Sex Educator Megan Andelloux takes some time to explain the importance of quickie sex.

By Via Gasm.org

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In our fast-paced, smartphone-focused, constantly buzzing world, great sex and chemistry can fall by the wayside. Sometimes it seems like nobody has time for anything but technology, work and working out, when, truth be told, if we all made a little extra time for sex, we’d be doing a great service to our mind and our body.

 

Consider this. If you want more spontaneous sexy time you should really think about redefining what sexy time means. One of the main problems I see is that we too often define sex as requiring penetration. That means, to have sex, someone has to insert something into someone else.

Friends, that is a very limited approach to what sex is.

Continue reading

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How Important Is Sex to A Relationship?

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Do we as a society over emphasize the importance of sex to the detriment of our relationships?

By Freddy and Eddy

According to the latest government statistics, the top five reasons for divorce are as follows:

1. Infidelity
2. Communication breakdown
3. Physical, psychological, or emotional abuse
4. Financial stress
5. Sexual incompatibility

As you can see, two of the top five involve sex, with infidelity finally jumping ahead of financial stress after many years of holding the top trouble spot. Sex, it seems, occupies an immensely important role in the success of couples, despite the fact that, according to the Kinsey Institute, the average number of times per week that sexual intercourse takes place is less than twice and that figure drops as couples age (as an aside, married couples tend to have more sex than single individuals who date). Is it possible we simply put too much importance on having a hot sex life when in fact a merely tepid one will be just as rewarding?

Continue reading

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Men’s Health: 8 Red-Hot Ways to Have More Sex

8 Red-Hot Ways to Have More Sex

by Madeline Haller

Great news, guys: You’re not the only horny one around the house. According to a new survey from Yahoo! Shine, roughly half of all women want sex more often.

Now that you’re armed with that awesome knowledge, it’s time to chart your next move. Read this advice from the country’s top sexperts to seduce your partner and start having the wild sex life that you deserve.

erotic portrait of young woman in lingerie
Get more of this. Every night.

1. Send Her a Sexy Text
It’s simple science: Women take longer to become aroused. So if you’re looking to get lucky later in the evening, start by piquing her interest early. How? Sext her. (No,seriously.) “Sexting can be extremely hot for a woman,” says Dr. Ava Cadell, founder of Loveology University. Women are much more auditory than men, she explains. So reading something sexy—like how badly you crave her taste—will only plant the seed of anticipation in her head. (But before you hit send, learn how to Be a Smarter Sexter.)

2. Speak Up
No one wants to have sex with someone who’s completely silent the entire time, so make yourself heard. “Most women find dirty talk extremely sexy,” says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., a sex therapist and the author of Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex. So whether it’s grunts, moans, or just whispering in her ear, any sort of verbal reaction will help her get riled up, says Brame.

3. Slow It Down
Arousal doesn’t start the minute you enter the bedroom. And simply getting naked doesn’t mean she’s ready to go, says Brame. To up her heat index, Brame recommends taking your time when stripping down. Unbutton her clothes and remove them slowly. Kiss her bare skin and spend extra time in the area you just disrobed. “Women need to be able to relax and get into a good mindset,” says Brame.

4. Step Out of the Box
Kissing her neck is always a wise move, but switching things up will only work in your favor. Your move: Focus on something more foreign, like her hands. “Start by kissing her fingertips and then slowly spread her fingers apart, licking in between each one,” says Cadell. “Women like to be teased, so this sultry symbolism (licking in between her fingers versus her legs) will rev up her sex drive.”

5. She Comes First
Women are more open to sex if they know their needs are going to be met, says Cadell. So rather than issuing your own sexual demands, focus on hersatisfaction instead. Hone in on the areas that especially put her in the mood: Her ears, neck, and inner thighs are all surprising hot spots that can push her over the edge. And since women like spontaneity, never stay in one area for too long, says Cadell.

6. Compliment Her Goods
If you want oral sex to play a bigger role in your sexcapades, make sure she knows how crazy you are about her body. Research has shown that women who are more comfortable with their genitals are not only more open to receiving oral sex, but they enjoy it more and orgasm more, says Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., sex researcher at Indiana University and author of Sex Made Easy. The next time you spend some time below the belt, tell her how much you love the way she looks, tastes, and smells, Herbenick advises. Your words will benefit the both of you in the long run. (And for more of Herbenick’s advice, learn How to Be Great in Bed.)

7. Forge a New Path
Don’t put her on the spot by asking her what she wants mid-romp, says Brame. Yes, communication is key for good sex. But expecting her to give you a step-by-step walk-through on how to pleasure her isn’t exactly getting her off. It puts pressure on her because she thinks she has to respond with something new and kinky, when she should just be enjoying the moment, says Brame.

“Women like men who are in control,” says Cadell. So instead of asking, “what do you want me to do to you?” try experimenting on your own, and then asking her if it feels good.

8. Cook for More Sex
Keep in mind that heavy meals do not pair well with sex. “When your body is full of food, your first instinct is to just lay around and digest,” says Brame. Plus, if a woman is full, the last thing she’s going to want to do is strip off her clothes, she explains. So if you’re planning to wine and dine her, make sure to keep the meal light and sexy.

And here’s a fun fact: Black licorice has been shown to speed up her genital bloodflow by 40 percent, Cadell says. So try incorporating it and other aphrodisiacs—including wine and chocolates—into your pre-sex routine. (Looking for sexy meal ideas? Find the hottest bedroom foods in The Big Book of Sex.)

More from MensHealth.com:

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Product Review: Cialis

Synopsis: A drug that increases blood flow, resulting in harder and longer erections. It works within 30 minutes of ingestion and lasts up to 36 hours.

Our Review: First, a serious disclaimer; if you do NOT have erection problems, do NOT take this drug. The side effects can include headache, stomach ache, backache, and general muscle ache. In extremely rare cases, a condition known as Priapism, in which the penis becomes engorged and does not subside after 4 hours, can cause permanent damage to you penis and should be treated immediately by a doctor. Don’t take Cialis if you are using nitrates (often used for chest pain) or alpha-blockers prescribed for prostate problems. Finally, it’s best to avoid drinking lots of alcohol when taking Cialis as you may get dizzy and/or lower your blood pressure. I’ve heard of a lot of young males taking Cialis to counteract the effects of too much drinking and/or cocaine, which can be deadly. As all these drugs have only come out over the last 20 years or so, there are no credible (that I could find) studies to examine what long term use these types of drugs have, so be please be responsible.

With all that, I still embarked on a 36 hour stint with Cialis, taken on a random Sunday night and concluding the following Tuesday morning. During that period, with the recommended dose (10 mg), I had sex with my wife four times, masturbated twice, and was able to get hard practically at will (with a little help from our monstrous porn collection and a little strip tease from Alicia). The effects lasted about 40 hours, give or take a couple of hours, and definitely provided a sense of confidence to my just-under-50 libido. The second time Alicia and I engaged in intercourse (which was only an hour after the first), I basically could have continued thrusting away indefinitely and stayed erect; no amount of beating on my penis caused it to go flaccid. I was reminded of Viagra, except that Viagra wore off far sooner. Of course, once I climaxed, things returned to normal. I did experience mild to uncomfortable headaches, as well as stuffiness in my sinuses for the first few hours and they continued even after I popped a couple of Ibuprofen (the sinus congestion went away with a couple of shots of Afrin), though less in their severity. The morning after our first two encounters, we had sex again, I masturbated two hours later, and we had sex for the fourth time in 24 hours that Monday night.

And how did I manage to get my hands on Cialis? Just look around the internet – it’s all over the place. And for CHEAP. I simply picked one of the first search results for “cialis” I hit, filled out a 25 question “doctor’s” questionnaire, and the drug arrived within 7 days. I paid $105.00 for 100 tablets (including shipping) of generic Cialis, which goes by the drug name tadalafil, which worked out to around $1.17 per dose. I’m sure I could have gotten better pricing by going shopping around more; however, my purpose wasn’t to review sources, so I went for the first supplier I found comfortable ordering from. If you want the real deal, it will cost substantially more, and I compared genuine Cialis with generic and found no difference, FYI.

In summary, I can’t in good conscience recommend this product to anyone who isn’t experiencing erectile dysfunction. Even then, I’d probably pay a visit to my doctor beforehand. However, I’ve read that results and side effects vary greatly from person to person, so perhaps my experiences with headaches and sinus congestion are not that common. I was able to reduce the side effects by halving the dosage, and I will admit to keeping some on hand in case I’ve had too much alcohol and still want to have sex. Bottom line: Cialis is an effective tool to help bring males firm, hard erections and its 36 hour duration makes it very conducive to spontaneity, since you can choose the time and place for intimacy without worrying about when you last took the drug.

 We don’t condone or sell Cialis, but it is easily available online or through your doctor by prescription if you think it’s right for your situation.

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Product Review: Ovo T1 Vibrator

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The Skinny: The Ovo T1 is a high quality compact, water resistant clitoral stimulator with a 15 year warranty.

Our Review: We’re not sure why, but summertime has not been particularly fruitful when it comes to our own sex life. Maybe it’s due to the constant presence of guests (we live close to Venice Beach and get lots of visitors), our son being home all the time, and our general malaise when the weather gets too warm. Whatever the reason(s) we simply don’t get busy very often from June to September. Heck, business in our online store slows during these three months almost like clockwork, so it can’t just be us taking a sexual breather.

However, this doesn’t mean we turn completely off; just that it may take a little more effort to rise up, so to speak. One such compelling reason presented itself in the form of the Ovo T1 vibrator, an attractive and compact little device designed in Germany. The T1 is one of many new sex products that Ovo seems to be aiming squarely at Germany’s most successful manufacturer, Fun Factory, with toys that span the entire spectrum from insert able to clitoral and every thing in between. Indeed, Ovo has brought their entire line in at a much lower price point and added a 15 year warranty for good measure. Based on our experience with the first couple of Ovo products, one of which we’ll detail in this review, Fun Factory should definitely keep an eye on their plucky new competitor.

Unboxing

The packaging of Ovo products is minimal, yet elegant, eschewing the wasteful practice of “Look at me!” colors and large boxes in favor of more enticing and environmentally friendly economy. The T1 (as pictured above) comes in a small rectangular white box, approximately 5″ long and just short of 2″ in width and depth, adorned with a picture of the T1 on the front and right side and the specs, such as warranty and batteries needed (the T1 takes a single AAA battery) listed on the back. This package sizing makes the T1 perfect for discreet gift giving, such as a private stocking stuffer at Christmastime, for example. Finally, the cardboard is quite sturdy, lending a quality “feel” to the box and it slides off with an assuring resistance.

ovot1whitepinksideOnce out of its container, the Ovo T1 is an attractive product that doesn’t disappoint, visually, measuring 2.5″ long, gently curving with a single silver button toward its slimmer end. The button has tiny plus and minus symbols at each end that are difficult to see for our middle aged eyes; however, this initial annoyance went away quite quickly once we put the T1 into use. To start the device, one simply presses and holds the plus button down for three seconds, at which point the T1 engages at its lowest setting. From that point, the T1 can be cycled through three speed settings and two programmable pulse modes. Pressing and releasing the minus button takes the T1 back down through its settings and holding the minus button down for three seconds turns the unit off no matter which setting in which the T1 happens to be. Though definitely not as sophisticated as some of the other vibrators on the market – the Lelo Lily and Fun Factory Layaspot toys come to mind – the Ovo T1 proves itself competent and is less than half the price of both.

In operation, we found the Ovo T1 to be a fantastic little addition to our toy arsenal and just what we needed to snap us out of our summer sexual doldrums. For solo play, the T1 provided enough punch to reach orgasms easily whether in the shower or bedroom (it is water resistant, so it can’t be submerged). As a device for couples play, the Ovo T1 really stood out; its size and shape makes it fit perfectly over the pubic bone for clitoral stimulation during intercourse and brought us both to orgasm in almost every position. The bottom side of the T1 is satin finished and provides good grip when things get heated, which we found to be a nice detail most other manufacturers miss. After a full two months and multiple uses, the Ovo T1 is still going strong and we love how it can easily be thrown into even the smallest purse for nights out. If we had a quibble, it would be that removing the battery cover underneath can be difficult and dangerous to well manicured nails, so it helps to have a spare coin or key handy to pop it off in a pinch.

In summation, we have very little to complain about with this superb device. The Ovo T1 is an able, attractive, and, at a crazy low $22.95, value priced sex object that will leave you singing its praises for years to “come.”

Interested in purchasing an Ovo T1? Click here to visit our online store or head over to their website here. Your purchases help keep this website up and running and free for everyone!

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Sex and Fitness: Good Health = Great Sex

Finding your sex life ain’t what it used to be? Maybe you need to hit the gym…

From Psychology Today…

marieLeg cramps, problems catching your breath, overall fatigue, dehydration – all of these things can happen during sex. On top of these issues, you might suddenly in the midst of passion, think of all of your woobly bits – the parts of your body you dislike. Maybe, to make matters even worse, you realize the position you are in and your partner’s perspective of your body. “Ugh!” you sigh.

Sex can be physically tiring, just like any other physical activity, particularly if it’s sustained for a long duration. With the spring around the corner, and people’s thoughts turn to love (and lust), now is a good time to think about exercise. The link between physical fitness and sex is an interesting one, and one that should not be underestimated.

Getting enough sleep, eating right and reducing stress are all important for having a satisfying sex life, but they are also really obvious and talked about elsewhere at length. What is less discussed is the importance of getting exercise before you end up in bed with your special someone.

Exercise that is performed over a sustained time leads to a so-called “runner’s high,” caused by the release of endorphins. These endorphins are stimulating, and as well as causing us to feel great, they stimulate the release of sex hormones. The added bonus is that exercise causes us to feel better. It elevates our mood and creates a feeling of calmness (albeit after we have had a chance to cool off and relax). The lowering of heart rate, improved digestion, lowered blood pressure and lowered stress hormone levels combine with the feelings of well being caused by the endorphins. Add to that an increase of another hormone, oxytocin, and the result is a relaxed, content, person.

lcgallery4exampleFor women, the link between exercise and sex has been explored by Cindy Meston and her colleagues. Their results indicate that working out – albeit vigorously – primes women’s bodies for sexual activity. It is not simply that exercise increases genital blood flow or makes women sexually aroused. Instead, there seems to be something, as of yet unidentified, that prepares women’s bodies. After working out, she found that women’s bodies respond faster and more intensely to sexual content (such as an erotic film). Her findings are exciting because they counter the long held belief that relaxation is necessary for a good sexual experience, and assumption that might be due to the link between anxiety and erectile problems for men. I should mention that so far these effects have been documented immediately after exercise and seem to diminish quickly- indeed, they seem to be the strongest 15 minutes after exercise and fade fast.

As for men, sexual experiences also benefit from exercise. White and colleagues (1990) had two groups of men, whose average age was 48 years, all of whom were sedentary but healthy at the start of the study. One group engaged in walking, while the other in aerobic exercise. The latter group reported higher levels of sexual intimacy, more satisfying orgasms, and more reliable sexual functioning. Thus, men who are physically inactive and then aerobically exercise three or four days a week, regularly, for at least an hour at a time, soon report more sex and better sex. However, all men experienced an improvement, leading the researchers to conclude that enhanced sexuality is directly correlated with their improvement in physical fitness.

Satisfying sex lives isn’t just about the nuts and bolts of biology – it also involves self image. People who exercise often have a positive self body image, which might make them simply enjoy their bodies more, too. Penhollow and Young (2004) found frequency of exercise and physical fitness enhanced attractiveness and increased energy levels. They write that those who exercise are more likely to experience a greater level of satisfaction and a positive perception of self, which may cause them to believe they are more desirable and may perform better sexually

One last thought – sex itself is a physical activity and burns calories and increases fitness. Many factors influence how many calories are spent during sex, but most reports seem to indicate about 85 for a half hour to hour session, which is about the same as bowling (see this link for calorie counts). Unlike bowling, though, sex can also increase self-esteem, cardio-vascular health, emotional intimacy, improve sleeping, and increase immunity!

References:

Penhollow, T. M. & Young, M. (2004). Sexual desirability and sexual performance: Does exercise and fitness really matter? Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality, 7, http://www.ejhs.org/tocv7.html.

White, J., Case, D. A., McWhirter, D., Mattison, A. M. (1990). Enhanced sexual behavior in exercising men. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 19(3), 193-209.

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Romancing Eddy – My Surest Thing

Alicia in the Bellagio lobby on our 9th anniversary smallWe ran this piece back in 2001, only a couple of months after starting Freddy and Eddy. We thought it would be appropriate to bring it back for those who may have missed it. – F&E 

By Ian Denchasy (Freddy)

If I’ve learned anything in my past experiences with women, it’s that we men seem to ignore their natures, while expecting them to accommodate ours.  We want excitement, experimentation, cheerleading outfits, handcuffs, anal sex, and the like, but aren’t willing to approach these goals in a manner that addresses the peculiar needs of most women. Sure, there are a few females out there who love sex so much that they provide the cheerleading outfits and handcuffs, but most of them are already porn stars. Or not with you. Or married to your best friend. For the majority of us, however, the women in our lives need a bit of coaxing to put that swing to good use.

Twenty five years with Eddy has taught me that almost all of my fantasies are within reach if I simply work a little bit in the romance department. And it’s not really work. Want to explore anal sex? Start with VERY light fingers around the VICINITY while you go down on her for an hour. It may take months of this before she’ll go further, but your patience will pay off. Want her to shave that jungle down there? Shave it for her and have her shave you as well (do you think YOUR overgrown mojo is any more attractive than hers?) Want her to get into porn films? DON’T make the first one a barely-legal schoolgirl taking triple penetration from guys with triton missiles between their legs. Get something with NO penetration, like the Playboy Couples series. Then move slowly into an Andrew Blake- directed film like Secrets. Want her to masturbate? Lay her on her back, take off her shirt, and show her how YOU do it. Softly rub the tip of your cock over her nipples and watch her tingle. Now hubbies, let me tell you how to plan a romantic evening guaranteed to have HER reaching for the toys for weeks to come. Ladies, take note…

Find out what your wife’s favorite cooking show is, see if cooking show host has a restaurant, and make reservation for two. In our case, Eddy’s favorite cooking show is Emeril Live. Emeril has many restaurants, the closest to us in Las Vegas. Of course, it’s booked solid months in advance, but I’m a persistent fellow and called everyday for 30 straight days begging to get in. I finally  wore them down on the 30th day and they granted a reservation. True, I pulled my final ace – it’s my anniversary – to puncture the heart of the reservations agent, but our resolve for our mates should know no limits. I then booked a flight to Vegas, Amex’d two tickets to “O” at the Bellagio and the plan was set. Oh, and all of this was kept highly confidential. I didn’t even tell any of our “good” friends for fear of the fatal slip/foot-in-mouth. I didn’t even tell the Mother-in-law, who would be babysitting in our absence.

The day before Operation Blow-Her-Away, I took Eddy shopping and told her to get a new outfit, handbag, and pair of shoes. The day of the actual trip had her sent off to a spa with manicure and pedicure. It was 1pm and I instructed her to assemble the entire package and get into the cab out front, which whisked us to the airport. Stunned, she boarded the airplane and we enjoyed some great conversation, peppered with compliments and constant smooching. She chose a very sexy little outfit and I couldn’t keep my hands off her! Happily, she decided against trying to guess what I was up to and just decided to sit back and let it all unfold…

And unfold it did. Dinner was spectacular (amazingly, the whole staff came out to meet the persistent husband who called 30 days in a row) and the Cirque Du Soleil unbelievable. Perhaps the greatest moment for me came when I turned my head for a moment to share my thoughts with another attendee. As I looked for Eddy, the noisy lobby went eerily quiet and my gaze was drawn to an unbelievably sexy woman standing under the glass foyer. She was so stunning that I just had to go over and wrap my arms around her – my partner of the last 13 years. It was as if I’d seen her for the first time, only better.

Now, one might assume that, after all that, I expected a sex-fest to end all sex-fests. Fireworks, Mt. St. Helens, and the Perfect Storm all rolled into one endless night of orgasms. But you know what? We didn’t have sex at all! After all that (and a plane flight home to boot), we barely had the energy to drag our tired selves into bed. And, for me,  that’s what made it so special. When romancing your partner (or anyone for that matter) you do it because the act of romance – not the result – is the payoff. And the sex that FOLLOWED that little evening? Everything I wanted and more. Anal? Yep. Cheerleading outfit? Yep. XXX videos? Yep. A regular occurrence. Our mojos? Neat and trim. Masturbation? Doesn’t all sex start that way?

In truth, that’s just one example of the many surprises I’ve sprung during our brief 13 years together. But the point is to always try to take your time and SPRING THOSE SURPRISES. Yeah, the 5 dollar bouquet from the freeway off ramp is nice, but why not then take those rose petals and surprise her with a hot bath filled with them? Chocolates? Sure. But how about some chocolate scented candles and soaps instead? And when it comes to sex, take your time and put HER first. Sure, there’ll be those times to rip each other’s clothes off and hump like crazy, but that’s not going to get that Batgirl costume on in the long run. Freddy

PS. Of course, the ultimate irony was that almost all of our friends’ husbands/boyfriends hated my guts for that romantic evening. It seems most of the men out there don’t think this sort of thing is MANLY. I’ll remember that the next time my wife rents a porno and takes me to a strip club.

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