Tag Archives: female menopause

Hot Sex With Menopausal Women: One Man Shares His Experience


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After reading a recent HuffPost article about post-menopausal sex that struck me as somewhat depressing, I started to wonder how sex as I knew it would evolve once I crossed over to “the other side.” Was the reality for most women really as grim as what the media tells us is true? Or can sex after menopause morph into a richer and more nuanced experience? And if it does, why aren’t we reading those stories? L

iam is a 65-year-old man who wrote to share his experiences with steady sex partners from ages 50 – 68. If his sampling is an accurate gauge of the range of post-menopausal sexual response, then many of us perimenopausal ladies can look forward to enjoying robust sex lives, possibly in more creative ways than we’d ever imagined — especially for those of us fortunate enough to have a lover as sensitive as Liam.

I had a lover who began menopause at 51 with no other symptoms than the hot flashes/end of menses.

Her very strong libido was unaffected. We did not center intercourse in our practices, so I can’t recall if there was any effect on that. She was accustomed to having endless and sometimes ejaculatory orgasms from non-genital stimulation of various sorts, so we mostly didn’t notice menopause’s effects. Continue reading

The Surprisingly Common Reasons Women Have Trouble Getting Wet

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Are you experiencing this problem in the bedroom? Do you have difficulty getting wet even when you are SUPER excited?

You just finished an extreme make out session, and you feel like your clothes are going to catch fire if you don’t get naked IMMEDIATELY and get down to business. The clothes go flying, hands go fondling, and…

…she’s not wet. Both of you are disappointed. She may even feel embarrassed and ashamed.

Guys, welcome to the female version of ED – failure to lube. The funny thing is this happens to EVERYONE at some point or another. Sometimes things just aren’t right and our bodies won’t cooperate.

It doesn’t mean she’s not turned on. There are six surprisingly common things happening behind the scenes that may be making it difficult for her to self-lubricate:

1. Zapped of ZZZs – Not surprisingly, a lack of good sleep puts stress on our bodies. It depletes our energy stores, making it much more likely that our minds may be willing but our bodies unable to perform. And with stress comes an inability to self-lubricate enough for sex.

2. Cramped by Caffeine – If she’s been using Starbucks, Red Bulls, or any other number of other supercharged drinks to keep her going, all that caffeine comes with a cost. For some women, it can inhibit the ability to get wet, and it even makes it difficult for some women to reach climax.

3. Allergies are Agony – Every year, millions of allergy sufferers find comfort in over-the-counter or prescription medications. The problem? Many of those meds wind up dry out the mucous membranes, especially if they are designed to relieve congestion. Many people don’t stop to consider there are other areas that can be dried out…areas that you don’t necessarily WANT to dry out.

4. Suffering from Stress – Men and women throughout the country have to deal with overwhelming amounts of stress. Studies have shown that stress can lead to Erectile Dysfunction (ED) in men, so it comes as no surprise that it affects women just as harshly. In addition to lowering our libidos, it can make it very difficult to get wet.

5. Depression has Her Down – If she’s been feeling depressed, she already may not have much of a libido. Unfortunately, if she’s taking medication to help her cope (including anti-depressants and antianxiety medicines), those may increase her libido and desire for sex but make it difficult for her to produce her own lubrication.

6. Wanting for Water – And finally, without water, producing your own natural lubrication becomes nearly impossible. We’re not talking just any beverage that lists water in its ingredients – in order for your body to function properly, you need WATER and lots of it. More water = more wetness, plain and simple.

At any point in her life, a woman may be dealing with some or all of these things. She may be willing and wanting, but simply unable to get on her own or with help from you. This is why I say personal lubricants make a fantastic addition to any bedroom.

Lubes don’t make women less sexually appealing, and they don’t mean men aren’t good at turning their partners on. They are simply another fun tool that you can use to get down to business, even when your body isn’t cooperating.

So what are you waiting for? Drink some water, ditch the meds, get naked, and lube up!

Do you use lube? Have you discovered a particularly fun variety? Share your thoughts in the comments.

More about me: I am the owner of an online romance store www.BlissConnection.com and have been selling sex toys and lingerie for the last 10 years. I just opened a brand new plus size lingerie store in San Jose called Curvy Girl Lingerie. We focus on plus size lingerie and helping women to get in touch with all of the pleasure your body is capable of!