Tag Archives: prevent menopause

Hot Sex With Menopausal Women: One Man Shares His Experience

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After reading a recent HuffPost article about post-menopausal sex that struck me as somewhat depressing, I started to wonder how sex as I knew it would evolve once I crossed over to “the other side.” Was the reality for most women really as grim as what the media tells us is true? Or can sex after menopause morph into a richer and more nuanced experience? And if it does, why aren’t we reading those stories? L

iam is a 65-year-old man who wrote to share his experiences with steady sex partners from ages 50 – 68. If his sampling is an accurate gauge of the range of post-menopausal sexual response, then many of us perimenopausal ladies can look forward to enjoying robust sex lives, possibly in more creative ways than we’d ever imagined — especially for those of us fortunate enough to have a lover as sensitive as Liam.

I had a lover who began menopause at 51 with no other symptoms than the hot flashes/end of menses.

Her very strong libido was unaffected. We did not center intercourse in our practices, so I can’t recall if there was any effect on that. She was accustomed to having endless and sometimes ejaculatory orgasms from non-genital stimulation of various sorts, so we mostly didn’t notice menopause’s effects. Continue reading

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Product Review: Fun Factory Smartballs

Synopsis: Two, 1″ hardened silicone balls for targeting and strengthening the muscles of the pelvis, supposedly leading to more intense orgasms and prevention of incontinence.

Alicia’s Review: Never one to miss out on something new and different, I decided to give these things a try a few years back on the advice of a sex therapist I’d met at an adult trade show. Now, with 50 Shades of Grey mentioning them, it’s time I returned to give my review a refresh. Smartballs are about the size of ping pong balls, made from medical grade silicone. These hard objects are inserted into the vagina (for lack of a better comparison – like a tampon) and can be worn all day long. Inside them are smaller metal balls that cause subtle (and silent) vibrations, providing a slight tingle to your movements. What was the point of all this? Well, supposedly, wearing them will strengthen the muscles in the pelvis, leading to more intense love making and helping prevent incontinence in your later years. I wondered, could using these balls train me to squeeze Freddy’s member into an inescapable vise-like grip of orgasmic pain? Hmmm…

More on that later, but first a little history. The origin of insert able, or “Ben Wa” balls, started in ancient Japan or China, where women first inserted egg-shaped hollow balls carved from ivory into their vaginas, then experienced orgasms by rocking back and forth, causing small pebble inside them to vibrate. Over the years, the balls were refined and made from different substances, such as gold, silver, steel, Lucite, and finally plastic. Because all of these substances are non-porous, the balls do not absorb bacteria, so you can use them longer than most sex toys. Indeed, some women now wear them all day, on dates, to the grocery store, and even with their partner’s while having sex, where they report how their mates love encountering the smooth balls during penetration. All of this was intriguing, so, without further ado, I inserted a pair to find out for myself if all these claims were true.

For the most part, a dab of lube made them insert fairly easily, and aside from a very slight tingling from the vibrations of the inner balls, I forgot they were in after about an hour. In fact, one of the only ways I could tell was to do a kegel exercise or to squeeze my pelvic muscles as I would during a sit up, for example. I decided to go ahead and practice “noticing” them throughout the day and removed them before bed time. I didn’t let on with Freddy that I was using them, as I wanted to see if he would notice any difference as time passed and I became more skilled in their use.

After about a month, I did begin to build more strength in my “love area” and could really put the clamps on Freddy when I wished, almost always causing him to orgasm quickly (it was fun making him think he was ejaculating prematurely!), which came in handy on those nights I wasn’t up for a marathon of sex. Sometimes, it’s nice to get in a quick session, then relax and fall into a nice, deep slumber. Finally, I ‘fessed up and let my hubby in on my secret, which naturally caused him to want to have sex right away with the balls in place; alas, he noticed no difference during penetration and neither did I.

In summary, I continue to use them about every other week up until present day and find it fun to slip them in before going out with my husband. The design and colors are fun and attractive and, of course, the quality and materials are of the usual excellent Fun Factory standards. For a neat kick and some cheap thrills, I have to recommend these balls highly.

Freddy says: I was a bit bemused by the sudden interest in kegel balls after 50 Shades of Grey became such a phenomenon in 2012. It was as if something magical had been discovered and we could barely keep them in stock. Now that the fad has died down, we can look at them without all the hoopla and simply say that kegel balls – our favorites being the ones in this review – are a must for women in their 40’s and above, especially as menopause sets in and sexual testosterone dips. Kegel exercises with or without the aid of Smartballs should be a daily occurrence as well, and can easily be incorporated into the daily routine by simply stopping and starting the flow of urine (8-10 times) whenever going to the restroom.

If you’re interested in getting a pair for yourself, click here or on the links above to go to Fun Factory’s website or type in “Ben wa balls” into Google to find a retailer who stocks them.

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