We aren’t sure we completely agree with the premise that feminism and easy sex are the culprits of the downturn (we feel it’s more likely a temporary blip as relationship roles are redefined in an every changing and modern society shift).
“Feminism was supposed to bring women happiness,” Crouse said. “But the research shows that women today are much more unhappy then they have been in the past. They’ve ended up with far more opportunities, but their personal happiness is way down.”
(CNSNews.com) – Seventy percent of American males between the ages of 20 and 34 are not married, and many live in a state of “perpetual adolescence” with ominous consequences for the nation’s future, says Janice Shaw Crouse, author of “Marriage Matters.”
“Far too many young men have failed to make a normal progression into adult roles of responsibility and self-sufficiency, roles generally associated with marriage and fatherhood,” Crouse, the former executive director of the Beverly LaHaye Institute, wrote in a recent Washington Times oped.
I happen to live in Los Angeles, where being over a size 8 is almost a felony. As a plus-size woman, this can be depressing when I am searching for a cute bathing suit or a stylish pair of jeans in a city that considers the “norm” a size 2. At those times, I like to remind myself that the average dress size for women across America and the UK is a size 14, and that a size 2 is much less common than the norm. However, it’s disappointing to note that at size 14, those “average women” are also considered “plus-size,” a term that relegates them to a category that, in this media-driven age, sends women to the back of the proverbial bus. Continue reading →
There’s a passage at the beginning of Michele Weiner Davis’ 2008 book, “The Sex-Starved Wife: What to Do When He’s Lost Desire,” that underscores what experts say is a larger problem than our culture lets on.
“You ask yourself, ‘What’s wrong with me? Aren’t I attractive?’ ” Weiner Davis writes. “How did you manage to hook up with the one man in the world who would prefer doing just about anything other than making love to you? Why isn’t he like all the other guys?”
Earlier this summer, my wife was surprised to hear me say, “I love you,” seemingly out of the blue, following up with a remark on how she never knows when I’m going to utter the three words or what prompts me to do so. Alicia is more traditional in her use of the phrase, never leaving the house or going to sleep without tossing it my way, for example, while I’m quite economical with the words, but generous (at least in my mind) with my actions as proof. Taking care of her mother as she grapples with dementia and Parkinson’s Disease is one way I feel I show my ultimate love and dedication; keeping a clean house another. In fact, we’ve had many heated discussions over our many years of marriage involving action versus words, though never tying these talks to love. Perhaps they are one in the same? Is this a “Mars/Venus” scenario, where males and females – in-general – view love and the proof thereof in completely different terms? Continue reading →
Takeaway: Asking yourself a few simple before buying a harness can make for happier humping.
A couple years ago, I got a request for an advice piece on how to choose a harness for strap-on sex. I didn’t have to do much research before it became apparent that a 500-word blog post was not going to be enough to encompass all that goes into this important sexual tool.
So, two years, hundreds of harnesses and multiple orgasms later, Queerie Bradshaw’s Guide to Choosing a Harness is finally live (and free to download by clicking here).
Kinkly.com asked me to share some of the top things I learned from making this guide, so here they are. Continue reading →
Want the best sex with your partner? Work on underlying trust to pave the way to mind-blowing intimacy.
For truly mind-blowing sex, nothing beats trust to get there.
Chemistry and physical attraction aside, what’s the most important factor in keeping your sex life exciting over the long term? For us it’s been long term trust, which has been built upon unflinching honesty over many years – especially when it comes to intimacy. Trust translates into open communication, allowing us to explore sexual subjects (and acts), their consequences, and delve into desires that might be taboo without emotional damage. It’s not always pretty, but building a trusting relationship early on has rewarded us with not only a stable, happy marriage over many years, but a treasure trove of sensual experiences as well.
Us partying at the Lightning In A Bottle festival, 2013.
By Ian and Alicia Denchasy
Aka Freddy and Eddy
We are never shy about mentioning our long tenure; indeed, our motto should read, “Still going strong since the age of the dinosaurs.” As such, we’ve certainly had our share of adventures since our 1988 formation as life partners and, being that this website is focused on sexuality, we’ll posit that while we’ve enjoyed an abundance of intimate experiences over our first quarter century, we ain’t, as the saying goes, “what we used ta’ be.”
If you think you’re not enjoying a normal amount of sex, perhaps you simply need to revisit your definition of “normal.”
By Freddy and Eddy
Let’s face it, we are a culture obsessed with measuring sticks, and we use these data points to gauge whether or not we’re successful financially (salary, savings, etc.), scholastically (grades), physically (weight), and just about every other aspect of our lives. In marriage, it’s often the length the relationship that gets most attention, while one’s worldliness is defined by the number of travel miles or destination. So it goes with sex, and although there is almost no limit to the ways we judge ourselves successful, sexually, none seems to be more important than how many times we actually do it (and as an addendum, how long we perform).
Do we as a society over emphasize the importance of sex to the detriment of our relationships?
By Freddy and Eddy
According to the latest government statistics, the top five reasons for divorce are as follows:
2. Communication breakdown
3. Physical, psychological, or emotional abuse
4. Financial stress
5. Sexual incompatibility
As you can see, two of the top five involve sex, with infidelity finally jumping ahead of financial stress after many years of holding the top trouble spot. Sex, it seems, occupies an immensely important role in the success of couples, despite the fact that, according to the Kinsey Institute, the average number of times per week that sexual intercourse takes place is less than twice and that figure drops as couples age (as an aside, married couples tend to have more sex than single individuals who date). Is it possible we simply put too much importance on having a hot sex life when in fact a merely tepid one will be just as rewarding?
Current television programs, magazine articles, movies and music don’t represent marriage very well. The area they do the worst job covering is married sex. In many ways, even though most of the single people I know want to get married, the marriage rate has gone down. Couples who believed that cohabitating would keep their sex hot have been disillusioned and disappointed when they find out that what keeps sex hot is the security of a committed relationship.